U have left my heart broken''

2010-03-26T06:27:00.000-07:00

finally! block test is done~~~~~~!!!!! -.-
burning the midnight oil, studying like nobody's business, cramping my head and knocking my head over questions that i was unable to ans when I had the ans right infront of me.
5 days of intense torture is finally over...for now. lols. ok i'm getting pessimistic. but then again, there isn't much to be optimistic about.
hoho my blog has become my main medium to channel my sorrows and thoughts.

i've got a confession to make.
i'm messing up my life with this new PS3 game my dad just bought for us kids to play. Final Fantasy 13. oh dear. i'm getting addicted to it and bringing myself back to the bad old days of being a video game addict. though i'm not implying that i spent 90% of the time playing during the block test period.
it's such a hard challenge to fight back an old indulgent(?) that has come to haunt me once more. Deceiving me, playing tricks with my mind, telling it that i still have time, that i need a break, that i am not putting the game as my top priority as long as i did the other impt stuff as well on the same day. so it's somehow telling me that well..it's okay.
even though i have a good idea of its repercussions because i've experienced it myself in the past, my heart and mind just dont want to recognize that those consequences are truely consequences that can ruin my life all over again.
things that give temporary comfort but harm on the long run. when will i ever learn?
O Lord help me >.>...

2010-02-15T10:12:00.000-08:00

In Much Loving Memory of PigPig
February 2008 - 7th February 2010

Thank you for the wonderful moments.
Thank God for having you in our family. (:

2009-12-22T22:50:00.000-08:00

Christmas is coming!
So i find it appropriate to share with you guys this video to help you to understand a little more of why we celebrate the birth and resurrection of Jesus.
Just one thing to note though, Jesus was not born on Christmas Day as in 25th December.
Lyrics will be below :)

There’s a story that started on Christmas
When a baby was born in the night
And those who came far, who followed the star
Were seeing a heavenly sight ...
a heavenly sight.

Well the years hurried by, and the boy, now a man
Could make the blind see with a touch of his hand
He was born to be King -- he was Rabbi and Priest
But the best that he had, he gave to the least ...
He gave to the least.

He was born and he died, almost 2,000 years ago
He laughed and he cried, he felt all the fears we know
But what does it matter? A story so strange ...
Even if it is true, what does it change?
What does it change?

Well he spoke like a prophet -- like no one they’d heard
This simple young carpenter -- crowds hung on every word
He hated injustice -- He taught what is right
He said “I’m the way, and the truth, and the light.”

His friends soon believed that truly he was the one.
The Savior, Messiah, God’s one and only son.
But others, they doubted, they did not agree
So they took him, they tried him,
He died on a tree ...
He died on a tree.

God has made a way
for all who mourn and grieve
Death will never be the end
if you just believe.

There is nothing left to fear
nothing Heaven knows
For he died for us to give us life
and to give us hope He rose
He died for us to give us life
And to give us hope He rose.

2009-12-04T23:59:00.000-08:00

I just love children.
you may be a person who is quiet, a random person just walking by. But these little children, not realli caring how u look or whether or not they noe u, they just approach you and bring a smile to your face.
For the past few days my church had this camp called the "Vacation Bible School", where children, Christian or not, would come to our church and learn more about our Lord Jesus.
Frankly speaking, i thought the children in my class (K2s) would just ignore me or give me the cold shoulder because im usually quiet.
but thank goodness, i was wrong.
They talked to me, they interacted with me. They obeyed the teachers and they respected them. They simply showered all of us with love.
if only NPCC cadets were like that LOLs.

The class that i was helping out in was Dingo -K2s.
Just in case you dont know what a Dingo is, its a dog, but this dog doesnt bark. It howls. lol.

Some of the children in the class:

1. Dillon

Probably the most playful in class and one of the funny jokers in the class. Usually he would say some funny things and the rest of the guys seating at the same table as him would laugh out loud and their laughters would fill the classroom, echoing in volume and ferocity. He is just so
adorable! :x

2. Seth

Another adorable and lovable boy. When he is happy, he is really happy. When he is quiet, he is also really quiet. Cant forget this moment that i had with him. On Tuesday or Wednesday, the class was having this arts and crafts lesson when he wanted to go to the toilet so i brought him there. Then when we were walking, he just went to hold my hand. After that when he came out of the toilet, i told him to lead the way back to the classroom. Then he just gave me this smile and started walking. I just love him (:

3. Samuel

Just today, he came telling me a joke. "Which animal you cant trust?" den because i heard him telling this joke to his frens at the same table during lunch, i of course knew the ans. so i went "Cheetah". after that he started talking to me and asking me if i ate jaguar before, cockroach, etc etc. all sorts of funny things. then Dillon joined in to ask me such questions. hahas. adorable as always.

4. Vera
Oh man this girl is just C.U.T.E. She was the one who interacted with me the most. She would really come sitting on my lap, pulling me here and there, protecting me when Alyssa came hugging me like a teddy bear. Btw, Alyssa is another assistant teacher for class Dingo. And the kids really love her. So do i hahas.

Anyway, you can really see that shes the leader in the class. No matter boy or girl, she interacts with them. Though sometimes she may be a little too talkative, but still she encourages her classmates during games, and tries to comfort some of them when they were afraid to try out somethings. Love her. :D

5. Hans

Our top student for the Bible quiz! He is an intelligent boy and also quite independent. There was one time he came to church himself because his family was not free to bring him over. I hope that he will apply what he has learnt during this camp in his life, as a child of God. That he can pray and ask God for what he needs,but not what he wants. That he will continue to grow in what he knows about our Lord Jesus.

I can go on telling you about the rest of the people in class because all of them are adorable, whether they are quiet or not. I just love them all. But time is short, so i will just mention the few.

One of the more encouraging and comforting things to see during this camp, was the children who were not Christians, raising their hands indicating that they want Jesus in their lives. Auntie Sarah and Rebecca did a great job teaching them more about Him and sharing the Gospel. You may think that we may only share the nice things of being a Christian to them and leave the "not nice" parts out, so as to "psycho" them or something. But i can say confidently, that we did share the Gospel in full to them, and thank God that they accepted Him into their lives.

My hope for them would be that they would continue living their lives as children of God and that God would lead and guide them through, just as He is doing in our lives.

With all the happenings this year, it really brings great comfort to me that God is indeed at work.
I need not worry that much about where i would go after JC (or even after death), i need not worry about not having food or clothing for the day. This year has really been the year that my faith in God grows and indeed all glory is to God and God alone.

Although i know that you may not really understand what or why ive been saying such things, I would like to say to you that our God is real. He is not a force, a lucky charm, or some thinking that some people made up to use as a crutch. He is a God we can relate to, He is Someone we can trust in. Just by looking in the mirror, you can just marvel at how He created you. Your intricate body; complicated DNA making up your nose, your character, the colour of your eyes etc, your organs and cells all functioning well together even though in huge numbers.
And just by looking at the whole universe, you can just be awed at how such a place can just be spoken into existence.
If you are really interested, question and continue to search for answers, for there will always be answers when it comes to our faith in Jesus.
If you are not, i hope that you will begin to question yourself when it comes to where you would go after you leave this world. For what is at stake here is eternal life.

2009-10-09T00:14:00.000-07:00

Just a few hours from meeting the minimum requirement caused me my rank as a Cadet Inspector even though ive way overshot the required probation HQ hours.
Not that im complaining and making a whole lot of noise over what was taken away from me, it just tells me and reminds me of how the world really doesnt care much about your life.
especially in a modern society such as Singapore, its usually just all about making money.
Even though the reason may not be obvious and clear cut at times, but most of the time it will point back to that underlying meaning - to make money.
Money, if not looked at with the right perspective, makes you selfish, makes you greedy, makes you blind, makes you tempted to resort to underhand means to get it, etc etc.
Its not that i do not need money at all when im here on this Earth, its just that its not everything to me.
its scary when people put money as their top priority in their lives, and just looking at the growing modern society in Singapore, it just makes me uncertain and concerned of the values the generation after us will have.
but nvm about that digression now.

Wad causes part of my heartache currently would be losing my post as a CI even though ive been contributing and have been struggling for the 8 months of the year.
but also nvm abt the rank. What really mattered to me as a CI was the opportunity to reach out to the cadets, to teach them, to nurture them and to see the absolute fruits of your labour.
Apparantly ive been unable to do that since August. Academic pressure begins to accumulate and personal problems begin to take its toll on me.
Not that i simply became lazy and so decided to not get involved in NPCC-related activities, but its just because i cant, its very difficult for me to do so and i do not want to drag others down and hamper their efforts.
I cant take early leave from school to attend parades on Fridays because my Principal and Vice-Principals will never let me unless its HQ-related activities. And even if it is HQ-related programmes, they will only let me off if they do not find it a threat to my studies.

its frustrating at times, when im disallowed and unable to attend events that im supposed to and want to attend.
and it hurts, to have ppl judge you just simply because you are not there, when things really arent that simple.
just because the majority are doing it, it never meant that the minority had the same reasons for doing so and therefore have to be treated the way the majority are being treated.

I do agree to a certain extent that i do not deserve the rank as a CI due to my absence, but i would have to disagree if ive been stripped off of my rank because ive not been committed in helping in whatever way i can.

Right now i do not noe what to do. I dont even know if i should reply to the email Mr Song sent, just in case i will worsen the already bad situation.
But in any case, if i am truely dismissed from the Corps, i will humbly accept that fact (though it may hurt) , but i will still continue to contribute.
It may not be much, but at this point of time and state, its really the best that i can give.

2009-09-02T22:21:00.000-07:00

hohohos, promos are coming!

oral presentation is coming!

A-lvl chinese is coming!

-_______-

It just warms my heart to see the smiles on their faces yet my heart grieves as i witness their fall.

Oh how i wish for the best for them. how i wish that they could be spared from the turmoil they have, the debilitating process that they would have to go thru.

but yet, nothing will be learnt if one never experiences a fall ; the taste of imperfection.

2009-07-18T19:11:00.000-07:00

School life, ive got to say, is getting a little mundane.
Put aside the studying, the books, the teachers, the students and you will get urself a life without a sense of direction.
I mean, im basically a little..lost. lol
I'm clear of what i should do, but yet im unclear of what has to be done.
I'm clear of the goal that im suppose to reach, but yet the process of how im gonna get there is still so vague.
And even so, how could I be so sure that the goal that I'm aiming for, is the goal that I'm suppose to be looking towards?

My family...somehow i just don't feel at home anymore. Goin home is almost the same as going to school. Everything all planned and restricted. Everything all quiet, all silent, all...dead.
Even my hamster seems like a lifeless animal right now. Though, i must admit, shes still as adorable as ever xDD.
The people above has a home much alive than mine currently. I'm the only one at home with only a few lights on, together with my hamham, while the people above have each other's company.
Zhao xia singing, music, laughter, sounds of joy. All in the home of my neighbours'.
It just gets all nostalgic today.
hah..a child singing into the microphone now. How i wish i could turn back time.
I guess there is just no point in regretting and moaning over what's lost huh. lol.

Don't really know why im feeling so down right now.
Maybe i'm just expressing what has been accumulated in my heart for the past few months, maybe i'm just bored and typing this post out of self-entertainment purposes, or maybe its just...the gloomy weather lol.

And after today, I find that ive no interest in being rich. Being rich makes life even more boring, even more lifeless. I mean yea, you can get almost anything in this world, anything materialistic. But i guess its all pointless when you have no one to share it with.
(Ok now that sentence just brought me to the conclusion that im feeling pretty lonely right now. lol. tt explains my post.)

It's pointless getting rich when it doesnt bring life into your life but rather brings you deeper and closer to being dead.

ok enuff of my random-ness.

2009-06-11T21:22:00.000-07:00

Okay it has been quite awhile since i last blogged. hehs.
but during this period of MIA-ness, it has realli been a big struggle for me to catch up wif my work and my life.
being in JC, to tell u the truth, is like throwing urself into a black hole. It totally sucks and drains you out of ur life. -.-
but then again, bein in a JC forces you to manage ur time, and to start working rather than to laze around all day. Basically, being in a JC forces u to do things that are essential, to do things that we need and not what we want in this society.
but somehow, ive been lazing around for the past few days. i cld not bring myself to work, i cld not concentrate, i was bored to death. and its onli when i realize im lacking time, knowing that the ATC/STC camp is tmr, i start to have this drive to work again.
this realli stinks. this mindset. this...attitude.
people are struggling to manage their time, while here i am wasting my time away.
the same old vicious cycle of slacking during holidays is set to start again?
and there i was then right before the holiday, so determined to make full use of it.

i just realized tt the past few posts i had since the day i started JC are sooooo depressing.
but i cant help it can i? being in a JC, especially in YJC, coupled with your own personal life, is realli debilitating >.>

2009-05-09T15:44:00.000-07:00

I'd rather keep everything in, in the deep recesses of my heart
rather than to burden everything and everyone wif every problem in my life.
i'd rather continue on with my life, than to be held back by the setbacks i face
i'd rather focus on where i am now, than where i was before
i'd rather keep quiet, than to make empty promises.
i'd rather hold all the responsibilities for my actions on my shoulders, than to let others take them for me.
i'd rather work, than to laze and wait for a miracle to drop from the sky

But what's the point of wishing, if you only depended on your frail strength.
what's the point of hoping, if you are doing nth to search for hope.

what's so scary about the future, if you let God run and lead your life?

Vague and unclear words, holding great meanings and purposes.

2009-04-21T21:42:00.000-07:00

NPAP has just ended.
and i have to agree with R.Rahimi that it really was an emotional occasion.
firstly, it marked the end of our tiring trainings for NPAP 09.
secondly, many of our d08 and close frens came and it was a momentous moment, being able to meet again after a long time.
thirdly, it wld be the time where you wld see the cadets at one of their highest moments and it wld be the time where u wld see the fruits of ur labour.
i just cant help it but to say that im proud of the cadets in SC7, whether being a reserve or being a casualty or not.
This journey i had with them, I will never forget.
A contingent filled with a variety of different cadets, each with their own uniqueness and flaws.

Just the words "thank you", touched our hearts.
It just showed simply that we've impacted their lives one way or another.
What great satisfaction upon hearing words that were music to our ears.

Just a simple message to SC7:

Though your journey in NPAP 09 has ended, never stop growing.
Rmb wad it takes to be a good, quality cadet. Know the importance of doing your part as a member of your squad, regardless of wad position, because failing to put in the effort will affect the people around you without you even realising it.
Yes you guys were great tt day, but it just doesnt end there.
You can choose to slack, or choose to take wadever experience you've gained back to your unit and contribute to its growth. and mind it you dun need to be marching in the contingent to gain experience. lol.
I know some of you have the potential to be great leaders, its just up to you guys to decide on killing tt potential or continue to nurture it no matter wad obstacles you wld be facing.
Oya, and always remain humble (: lol.

ok! work work work time ~

2009-04-04T20:57:00.000-07:00

So much work to be done, so little time.
It is as if the world is rotating so much faster, wif constant deliverance of work.
Homework and revision , being some things that i have been complaining abt, have been tiring.
but to add on worries..now tt's just fatigue.
i don't really know what to say anymore with so much going on in my head and in my life.
so much so that my posts are getting shorter and shorter and me getting more and more secluded. lol.

don't tell me to forget about those worries and concerns. don't tell me to be selfish for once.
i'm not going to throw away my responsibilities.
mmm...there has got to be different ways to deal with them.
I will not submit to difficulties just like that .
-----------------------------------
Is it me, or is it their ignorance and naive minds being that block to where they're suppose to head to?
some are willing to take away their ego to learn, while some are not.
not many gets the rationale, yet thankfully some do.
chances were given, but many were thrown away together with the wind.
help was offered, but rejected as if they were too expert to accept a helping hand.
so much potential, yet why do they not take the chances and help offered to further expand that potential to much, much greater heights but instead take it for granted as if tt potential could be shown to its maximum on the very day itself? And even so, does the maximum at the current moment even meet the standards of the many cameras ready to expose them of their obvious flaws?
No, leaving everything to the last minute is not how success of their performance is being brought about.
It is sustained thru sheer hardwork, determination and resilience.
I will not allow any slacking anymore, I do not want and will not stand by to see them dig their own grave.
My team and I can only do this much. The rest is up to them to decide their own fate in this field. I am willing to put in the effort to improve, are they?
a few more days of practice till the day of "judgement" by the avid viewers, observing and expecting great performances to come from them.
will they make it?

2009-03-28T22:10:00.000-07:00

ok this is bad.
repetitive headaches, queasy tummy, mounts of homeworks...etc etc etc. ahh doiii.
thankfully there is not much hw this week. maybe part of the reason is because of the absence of my maths teacher. hehs.
wadever is it, hope she gets well soon if shes sick, and her probs resolved soon if there were any. hahas. funny to have a student saying such things for a teacher huh.

just like everyone else, i have many problems that have yet to be resolved.
and yea, most of us are torturing ourselves by having our emotions kept within and preventing them frm even surfacing to let the people around us, especially those tt we care abt, see how much of a certain emotion we have.
mm..there are many things that many of us have yet to understand.
we have to learn to be patient and not just go straight ahead into doing things without much thought and base on our assumptions that could be..lets just say inappropriate.
certain motives can be obvious without you even noeing it.
how can trust be nurtured when behind every action there are ulterior motives?

no idea where im getting at right? LOL.

nvm..i'll endure thru the storm, at least till NPAP is over. hahas.

currently feeling: worried. for the cadets, in Canberra and in NPAP.

and

YAY! momo is coming bak tmr!
i can return her bulkies and the smelly cage. FINALLY. :X

2009-03-23T16:29:00.000-07:00

mmmm...
tired ):

persevere persevere!

2009-03-01T21:19:00.000-08:00

AHH DOOIIIIIII
SO MANY HW =_=
moreover i cant do most of the ques given in the hw mostly because,
1. I do not understand the ques
2. I don't even know what I'm doing
3. When i think im confident that my method is right, my answer is wrong. -_-

sian sian sian sian sian >.>
haiz...man i really need help, especially in maths if i want to leave sch at an earlier time and miss the lessons(maths and chinese) every week to make it for NPAP trainings.
maybe being tt involved in activites can serve as an advantage when it comes to academics.
im actually forced to do well for the subjects if i want to participate actively in the activites that i love.
unlike last year, when i had lots of time, i didnt spend them wisely.
time was in the wrong hands last year, wif me wasting it away on television programmes and useless staring at the computer screen. >.>
now when im actually short of time, i tend to treasure it more.
man, ppl usually start treasuring things when they are running short, well for most of us lol. wad a sad aspect of humans. >.>

ahhh i miss my buns T-T (NaNa, Mo Mo, MiMi)
i miss the times we all had together.
i miss the Canberra CIs, i miss the unit, i miss the sec 3s, even though i noe they dun miss me tt much LOLs.
but even so...AIYA I JUST MISS THEM. :(

2009-02-14T17:18:00.000-08:00

So many things to do, so little time.
I strongly doubt that i will have the time to blog anymore hehs. That's provided i don't become lazy.
Let's see.. many things are happening in my life at the current moments.
Some sad, devastating and disturbing, some pleasant and heart-warming, while some are responsibilities that i've committed myself to.
It's gonna be soooooo tiring and sometimes life-draining x.x
JC workload is going to be dunno how many upteen times more than in secondary sch and of course not to mention its so much harder and sophisticated, for an average like me. lol.
However, it is just like what eddu said, its how i manage my time.

The first week of lecture was pretty okay, though most of them were hard to comprehend and link.
And I have to agree with Clifford, it IS fun to rush around to make it on time for lectures. LOL.
Maybe it's because its something new to me and the word "lecture" just sounds so professional.
I like~
Don't really know how to put the reason behind finding them fun in a proper way as i cant find the words to do so. hehs.
Either way, sooner or later lectures are gonna be something boring and mundane. Might as well enjoy them while i can :xxx

I have one particular problem though. From what i heard i will have lessons on Friday till 5pm =.= And im not allowed to skip lessons to attend external CCA activities.
sheesh...
come to think of it, ive got to agree wif David on certain points.
Some teachers there have a little-lots of pride. lols.
and the way they want to "nurture" us in our academics is through force -.- well some times. lol
they make things look nice saying they do such things because they respect and care for us and such.
but is this really the way to show their concern? >.>
sometimes the way they do things causes some eyebrows to rise lols.
well tts just my opinion and its just one of the things tt i dun realli agree on.

mm...more effort will be needed this year, to put it simply, to survive throughout JC life.
Time management will be a problem..hmm no, challenge for me this year, with so many commitments and interests to handle.
But then again who am I to complain when I'm the one who wanted and chose to take on these responsibilities in the first place. hahas.

oya..b4 i 4get,

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

&

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO VALENTINO,

ANDRIE AND JOLENE!! :D

Im spending my Valentine's day with my hamsters! xDDDD
Sometimes you don't need a date to celebrate Valentine's day.
To have a family who showers unlimited love unto you...appreciate them.

Thank You..for everything. (:

2009-02-08T18:32:00.000-08:00

I was faced with an awkward silence as I approached the supposed-to-be-filled-with-sounds-of-movement cage.
"Snowball?" I thought to myself, praying fervently and hoping that it was not what i thought it was.
To my utter dismay, laying before me was a body; cold, white, motionless.
Emotions of sadness and despair engulfed my heart and not long after, tears started to cascade down my cheeks as I swallowed each and every pain and the truth I had to accept.

In loving memory of Snowball
The night was a full moon
2008- 8 Feb 2009

We'll miss you (;

2009-02-03T22:42:00.000-08:00

It hurts so much right now..
Having to make one of the most difficult and painful decisions of my life at a tender age of 16+.
Being given the most unfortunate choice, to choose.
People I cannot trust yet dearly,dearly loved.
I'm heartbrokened

2009-01-20T14:46:00.000-08:00

just last week a few of us went to momo's house initially to discuss the choices of our next institutions of education.
but yea, as most of u wld have guessed it, tt didnt really happen.
we ended up watching tv, gossiping, have our own "discussions" , running around like monkeys creating havoc, playing wif momo's new hamhams...
OHOH SPEAKING OF HAMHAMs, MAN THEY WERE

A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E.

but not as adorable as pigpig....LOLs. jkjk
all of a sudden they will start squeaking like mini soft toys, fighting over water -.-
like this.

*squeak squeak squeak!!!!!* just like how human siblings wld fight =_=
clawing, screaming their heads out at each other. den not long after one of them will give in and all will be well again lols.

well, the furry sisters have yet to be named. any ideas just contact momo at 9230-2222-1111-5555-534127837-3848162581623-1723617162987-3451846592-283816427371-11000 :D
she will be glad to hear ur suggestions ^^

then how many days back mum and i cooked japanese noodles for lunch!
mmmmm~~~~ it was delicious.
the noodles were so soft and smooth like silk and once u eat it together wif the soup, meatballs, egg and veg, the flavours will come bursting out and form one unique taste tt is totally...MMMM!! lols.

then again for the past few days, the sunset has always been beautiful here

picturesque huh? lol
and its not even taken at the opposite side which is where the park is.

last but not least...
MY SPF BADGE!! WOOHOO ~ xD L.O.L.

ok im just kidding. its definitely not mine.

lols.
this prestigious badge rightfully belongs to Mr Ong Qin Hui, my batchmate/squadmate of D08.
he lent it to me to display it during the recruitment drive.

alright tts all lols.
mood is going low low low low low low low low.. -.-

2009-01-17T21:36:00.000-08:00

i just love it when pigpig falls asleep on me....xD
argh shes just so cute!!!!~ <3 LOL
unfortunately my handphone is located wayyyy at the end of the table and i dun dare to move incase i wake her up in her deep serene sleep :x
so hehs, no pic. sorry for the disappointment lols.
tiny furball sleeping on my shirt...simply adorable~ (:

2009-01-13T11:30:00.000-08:00

results were out ytd.
cant say tt my results were too gd, but neither was it too bad.
i'll always remain as a boderline student for some reason, no matter how much i try lols.
anyway, don't be sad for me if u are, coz im not. im just disappointed. hehs.
and thankfully my mum told her frens tt my results were gd (though they were shocked tt she was happy wif my results when one of their fren's daughter got 15 pts[L1R5] and her mum scolded her)
mum is a little bit of a big mouth tts y i was afraid :XXXXXXXX
anyway to "celebrate" my results, Matthew treated me to a mini meal at City Hall.
and look at this baby~

mmmm mmmm!!!!!
tiramisu cake wif espresso ice-cream <3
though it doesnt come cheap hehs.
i also had another potato salad.
and no i wasnt drunk after eating the alcohol-filled sweeeeeet delicacy. lol.
--------------------------------

Getting the kind of results i have now, can be disappointing and demoralising, but somehow to me it seemed like a blessing in disguise.
i experienced heartfelt concerns by ppl i didnt expect, and i realised many aspects of different people whom ive failed to understand sometimes.
yea my world came crashing down upon knowing my results.
but then again after awhile, it was built up again, filled wif strength and assurance, knowing and being able to feel that there was love by my side.

Don't be too upset with whatever results uve attained.
Accept it, and move on.
its no use staying in the past and swallow each and every bit of the same pain again and again.
love is strength and strength and courage is what you need to move on.
last year is a thing of the past.
wad had been done, had been done and nth can be done to change them.
but this year is a new year. make a difference.

just something random: YAY ME!!!!! i passed my chinese LOL.

Thank You for Your strength.
Thank You for Your comfort.
Thank You for Your love.

2009-01-12T00:11:00.000-08:00

i guess the previous post was the 1st in dunno how long tt i sounded so frustrated.
hopefully and really hopefully, i wldnt have to sound like tt again.

today's the day when the O lvls results are going to be released.
pretty anxious, yet excited.
no matter the results, i'll move on.
everything is in God's hands. wherever He takes me, i'll follow.

All the best everyone (:

Lord please guide me..
No longer do i want to stray any further away from You..
Please lead me back..

2009-01-11T00:35:00.000-08:00

just wad's wif this world today?
impoliteness, discourtesy, oblivious to one's feelings and emotions, dishonesty and the list goes on and on. u name them.
just take a look at the world around u, just look.
at least freaking notice ur own attitude for starters.
yea so wad if u dun steal, u dun murder, u dun commit any crime tt is against any law.
if ur character stinks, literally, then ure no better.
in fact, at least some or most of those perpetrators repented from their ways and tt makes them all the more at least a level higher than u.
if u don't noe the defination of a stinky character, lemme list some parts of it down for u.

- selfishness
yea, ppl say the world is selfish, and we ourselves shld be selfish sometimes to SURVIVE etc etc etc.
but tts just a freaking excuse to be selfish and care only for urself when it comes to a certain point of ur life where it involves promotions or wadever selfish gains u can attain when u be, in the most layman term, selfish.
survival, just wad is survival to u?
to be able to feed urself for the nxt few decades of ur life?
and becoz of tt desperate need to "survive", u resort to underhand means to achieve tt?
i don't noe, i really don't noe wad to do to get any of u to understand and it is most unfortunate becoz i dun have any way to make u understand.
if u choose not to understand then of course i wun have any choice but to accept the stupid fact tt u chose not to understand and accept...facts.
fine. i capitulate.

you people are really "funny".
most of u tell others to do what is right and not what is popular with the people around you when most of you don't even do so when the time came.
u urself noe its wrong, but y on earth are u finding excuses to make it look as if its right?
u noe it in ur heart, u noe it.
but ure defending and taking ur stand just to show tt ure "right" ? tt ure more superior? just wad true sentimental value and gain can u get by doing tt?
understand whatever you said, with your heart.

nvm. this is just...debilitating. i don't want to continue any further.
I hate this feeling, to start posting such things becoz if it ever came to the extent of me posting such depressing comments, it just signals tt things are getting out of hand and if i didnt do anything abt it, or at least tried, the whole situation could become incorrigible, devastating, heart-breaking.

you might find me lame for wasting my time to put up this post.
but i put up this freaking post becoz i care.
just becoz im freaking silent for some time, just becoz im freaking reticent, IT DOESN'T MEAN TT I FREAKING DON'T CARE AND THAT THINGS ARE FREAKING ALRIGHT.
you might find me injudicious for saying such things, a nuisance, redundant, annoying.
nobody loves reading or hearing such things frm others.
since u dun love it den why do u do things to invite such comments and criticisms?
not everyone can accept their imperfections, and not everyone can accept and admit harsh facts and truths.
they cant, becoz they're unwilling to do so.
pride. is it really all tt?
Think, please.

Its time to notice your surroundings, instead of just living in your own little world.
Understand why people say certain things.

2009-01-10T00:29:00.001-08:00

it has been some time since i posted anything.
aint posting as much as last time anymore, mostly becoz im bz wif NPCC stuff and most of the time, i just dun have the will to post anymore.
i prefer reading ppls' stories rather than posting my own.
i listen more than i talk. (most of the time lol)
tts y im always the quietest among the grp.

right now my heart feels so empty.
no special particular liking for anyone anymore, neither am i willing to open my heart to anyone, not yet, till the right person comes.
and the worse thing is i feel as if im so far away frm God now, no matter how much i try to get back.
my heart is somewhere else.
its...difficult, to get back on track.

argh i cant take it anymore.
dun wanna continue posting when nth wants to come out of my head.
so...i'll just post key words! (:

Contradictions
Worries
Emptiness
Confusion
Understanding
Love

Does anyone of you understand me?
duh, no.

everything is haywire right now. lol.
i shld have warned u earlier to stop reading this post hehs.
now uve just wasted 1 min of ur time reading :D

2009-01-01T22:42:00.000-08:00

here are the very VERY overdue pics tt i had wanted to post up a long time ago.
i'll let the pics do most of the talking (:

the nxt few pics are some of the ones taken during our gathering to prepare for our performance during investiture ceremony. :

presenting to u, exhibit A, Rahimi and Gerald, the 2 monkeys in our squad, attempting to fly like superman.

den we shall head on down to exibit B, pervert and ah pau. :D

notice Gerald trying to push the boat and yueting getting rdy to get squashed by it.

and then again...they nv stop trying, do they.

i was actually gonna take a pic of the whole grp there, but the very happy Amilia came and i managed to get tt shot of her.

all..happy and excited (:

happy reunion wif delta.

reezal working at pastamania, serving law lols.

pics during the annual camp:

me wif the sandcastle the instructors built.

trust me, its totally no standard compared to the cadets'.

and yups this is me polishing my boots at 1am, on the very day i went for the course briefing.

see tt smile on my face while i polished?

goes to show how happy i was at tt time, polishing, at 1 am -,-

last but not least...here is the evidence of momo being bullied on the day of both edd's and her celebration.

becoz momo was stealing all of edd's limelight...this was wad happened.

momo b4

and momo after.

edd squashed her simply wif a refrigerator door.
goes to show how the simplest things can be used to harm ppl -.-

and..last but not least...PIGPIG, indian version :D
notice the poop on her head.
no we didnt place it there, it landed there while she ran in the ball. lol.

maybe i shld create a malay, chinese and american version soon :x
how am i gonna do tt? dunno lol.
and just so to let u all noe, SHE HAS BEEN FOUND AGAIN! :D
HIPHIP HOOORAAYYY~
i knew she wldnt leave us just like tt for another hamham... (:
and yea abd was right, its new yr, miracles happen lols.
sooo...MOMO! plan can be carried out right away XD.
man i sound like some forceful matchmaking mother like those in 'the little nyonya'. -.-
brrr..nv will i wanna be like them. >.>

countdown: 2 more days till the return of momo!

2008-12-31T00:00:00.000-08:00

alright ppl, pigpig is missing once again, 1 day b4 the new yr -.-

and to add on to the prob, my mummy is holding a countdown party tonight.

wad if those kids happen to find them and play roughly wif her or the adults hu are afraid of rodents or irritated wif them throw her away?

pigpig's way of dying wld be so gruesome T.T

ahhhhh no moood to go out wif aplha becoz of this...

surely my mind will be wondering around looking for pigpig.

aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh -.-

2008-12-26T23:55:00.000-08:00

ok this is wayyyyyyy overdue lols.
ps penguin :x

Tagged by penghui to do this survey.
A. People who have been tagged must write their answer in their blog
B. Tag 8 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These ppl must state who they're tagged by & cannot tag the person who they were tagged by.
C. Continue this game by sending this to 8 other people: Just do it if you feel like it (:

1. What have you been doing recently?
-goin for meetings for npcc stuff.

2. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
- mmmmm...hardly. o.O except during CIBTC. phone was practically dead lols.

3. What happened at 10 am today?
- the continuation of a rotting body infront of the computer

4. When did you last cry?
- mmm..can i not mention it? lols. brings bak soooo bad memories x.x

5. Believe in fate/destiny?
- nah. i believe in God and wherever He takes me i will follow (:

6. What do you want in your life now?
- something to fill my heart which is currently a cold dark void x.x

7. Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
- i wld say...yes LOLs. but obviously i try not to.

8. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
- currently no. and ive yet to return momo's dress. all the more momo shld come bak to sg ASAP b4 i send it to the shredder or just use it for campfire xD

9. What was the last movie you watched?
- Madagascar 2. the cute little furry thing...AHHH JUST CUTE! <3

10. Does the person you like knows that you like him/her?
- ques not applicable to me. Lols.

11. Who always makes you laugh?
- friends.mmm.. Wondered wad happened to the laughter in my family.

12. Do you speak languages other than english?
- aiya…consider the ans to this ques as a no. LOLs.

13. Favourite website(s)?
- no particular fav webby.

14. What are you doing tomorrow?
- Go to church. Sheesh..like..FINALLY.

15. Who do you wanna be like?
- the ppl whom I look upon. And of course Jesus Christ (:

16. Who will you choose to die with?
- hu else but myself? As if I have a choice. i cant tell the grim reaper to pause and gimme time to grab someone right?

17. Where have you been today?
- yishun park. Maybe northpoint ltr. Den sembawang.

18. What game do you play often?
- dun play games tt often anymore.

19. Who are you missing right now?
- MY SQUADMATES AND FRENS FRM CIBTC D08. And b4 I get hammered by someone…MOMO! :D

20. If you have to choose between a friend and a lover, who will you choose?
- I’ll see hu’s more trustworthy b4 I make any decisions. Besides y wld I wanna choose between them? Its allll abt balance.

21. What are you doing right now?
- using the com now, duh.

22. Which primary school were you from?
- ChongFu Primary School.

23. Name three colours you like.
- bright colours.

24. What emotion do you like to show?
- ask my frens lol.

25. What is life to you?
- everything. He gave me life. All the more I shld treasure it.

26. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
- go somewhere and EMO. Lols. Tts if Ive the time to do tt. If not I’ll just pray.

27. Who did you last chat with on msn today?
- Suriyani frm CIBTC :D

28. Who do you admire the most?
- mmm…CIBTC d08 instructors?

29. Which month are you born in?
-november. (momo has already filled this in for me )

30. How are you feeling right now?
- empty. As if im in the midst of falling in a bottomless pit >.>

31. What is the time now?
-12:00 PM. eh zhun leh! xD

32. Your opinion on the person who tagged you.
- CHIOBU. guys u shld see her in the dress as she attended the wedding the other day. lols. not to mention she is talkative, lovable(ahemm..:x), and well..she has a pretty hyped up personality lols.

33. What colour do you like to dye your hair?
- eww momo y did u put pink? LOLs. i wld dye my hair...BLACK :D

34. Why are you doing this test?
- becoz it wun be nice if i dun respond to penguin's request lols.

35. What do you do when you're moody?
- wad else but to stare into space and emo lol. den i'll start the wholleee reminiscing -.-

36. At which stage do you wish to get married?
- wow..there are stages? O.O 1,2,3,4,5? lmao. when both are rdy, tt'll be the time lols.

37. Who is closer to you?
- momo. even though shes not here physically, we will always be connected wif our hearttsssss. *GOOSEBUMPS* taboleh tahan.

38. If today is the last day of your life, what will you do?
- start reading the bible and doing everything good LOLs. nah..dun leave everything till the last min and dun do good things just becoz it will benefit u lol. lets see..wad'll i do? i'll pray and hope tt the people hu loved me will have the strength to move on with life when im gone lols. other stuff tt i wld do..it wld be a secret between God and i.

39. Who is/are the people/person you trust the most?
- for me to noe, for u to find out lol.

40. Do you believe in seeing the rainbow after the rain?
- like..do i have a choice in not believing tt? LOLs. its right b4 my eyes sometimes after the rain for pete's sake >.>

41. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?
- to have courage

42. What is your goal for next year?
- for me to noe , for u to find out. lol.

43. Do you believe in eternity love?
- yups

44. What feeling do you love the most?
- one of them will be the feeling of the chocolate tt momo gave me to try melting in my mouth. MMMMMMM MMMM!! A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. momo u better rmb where did u get the choc and bring me there ASAP XD. ok the feeling i love the most? love.

45. What feeling do you hate the most?
- hate.

46. Do you really think it's global warming now?
- duh.

47.Do you like doing quizzes?
- sometimes lol.

48. Do you believe in gods?
- nah. i only believe in one God. lol.

49. Who cares for you the most?
- for u to noe

50. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
- mmmmm...loads of things. the most impt thing? for me to noe, for u to find out xD

51. What will you bring when you fight?
- PARANG KNIFE. jkjk. i'll bring nth else but my strength.
ps: i dun get myself involved in violent physical fights >.> unless truely necessary to defend someone or perhaps..something?

ppl hu are tagged:
first and foremost..LEWIS POH. now u will have smth to post up. so..NO EXCUSES. lmao.
other than tt...its optional to the rest. (:

2008-12-25T00:00:00.000-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE

:D

Enjoy this festive season wif ur families

& friends (:

Celebrate the birth of our Saviour

Jesus Christ! :D

Fill your day with Lo ve (:

2008-12-23T05:54:00.000-08:00

2008-12-22T07:38:00.000-08:00

2008-12-22T02:22:00.000-08:00

RC1 and RC2 was tiring yet beneficial.
ive recapped and learnt many new stuff during the RCs.
Soft skills and hard skills were tapped on.
Values and Principles were inculcated.
ive learnt alot from my instructors JiaMin and YanRu.
They had the ability to discipline and teach without scolding us.
ok maybe they did sometimes but it aint as much as the other instructors.
thank goodness we got them as our instructors :x
without their guidance, all of us wld have remained lost.
1st day of RC1 i alreadi got scolded by Zhi Guang LOLs.
den 3rd day of RC1 i got scolded by Hui Ping.
1st day of ATC i got reprimanded by YanRu.
1st night of ATC i got reprimanded also by Caine.
im sure there were more scoldings but either way, those scoldings woke me up in different situations and moreover i deserved them anyway.
(cuts everything short)

ATC was when the whole nightmare began.
i was appointed as the tent inspection I/C and to tell u the truth, i really hated myself on the 1st day for being so lost and in one way or another, selfish.
Caine's criticism really woke me up.
and throughout ATC i didnt have a voice to help me accomplish certain stuff.
so i was basically "mute" for the whole camp lol.
u noe it was sooo irritating during those times when i tried to speak and have a great time.
nth comes out but a distorted voice that i doubt anyone cld hear. -.-
blah blah blah....
last day of ATC when we formed a circle.
As expected i didnt get anything frm the instructors again.
But who needs a collar pin to be motivated?
The instructor's words were enuff encourage me to strive harder and soar to greater heights.
Even though i cld not perform to the best of my ability, i gave my best and tt was wad made my performance during the course all the more satisfying.
i managed to widen my comfort zone becoz i pushed myself.
i was able to improve becoz i was willing to learn and accept the help and criticisms frm the instructors.
i realized my strengths and weakenesses.
And best of all, i didnt give up when faced wif the difficult circumstances which wld lead to scoldings and a ruined reputation.
i guess the risks i took were worth it and i can truly say tt i am proud of myself for making tt effort even though more cld have been done.

Amilia and i had been thru the whole tentage fiasco together and made it out successfully.
thx Amilia for being wif me thru the rain and shine and for all the support. (:
i dun tink i wld have make it had it not been ur cheerfulness and enthusiasm that nv failed to help me to loosen up and remind me of how a leader shld deal wif problems calmly.

THANK YOU:

Jiamin: for bringing smiles to my face and letting me feel less tensed. u seem to be the most approachable CII and thankfully u really are lmao. ive learnt alot frm u, really. And ur words of encouragement..awesome (:

Yanru: I've learnt loads loads loads from u. The values, principles, and learning how to think lectures worked wonders on me. it really widened my mind a whole lot more. now ive so much to share wif my cadets when i go bak to my unit. i like the way u approach things and how u observe each and everyone of us. thx for the motivation tt kept me going throughout the course!

Zhi Guang: dun tink i 4got abt tt toot incident where u scared me wif the toot loud hailer lmao. ok bak to NPCC. i guess without instructors like u the trainees wld have met a worser fate wif their injuries? ure always running around wif the first aid kit during RC. goes to show how serious u are even if the injuries the trainees sustained were minor. it taught me somethin. tt no matter how minor things are, take them seriously becoz minor things can go on to become something major. thx for teaching me tt.

Caine: tt night during ATC, u really woke me up when u told amilia and i tt we sucked at our job. and tt was so so true at tt time lol. both of us were really blur then but u and the other instructors guided us bak. and wad u said to me during the whole "shaking hands session" really made alot of sense and it motivated me to strive harder. thx for tt and the many things u taught me during ATC!

Abdullah: thx for ur support during and b4 the course! sry ive onli got 1 line for u LOLs. dun realli noe how to put it in words but...a very VERYYYYYYY big THANK YOU for everything~
ok now ive got more things to say. thx for the help u gave me b4 ATC started. unlike SOMEONE hu refused to giv me the answer to some questions...u were kind enuff to giv them to me. (:

Vincent: hopefully i made u proud during the course? i did my best and i hope my best was gd enuff. thankfully i listened to ur advice to take this course and i didnt regret attending it at all.
thank you for believing tt i cld do it and thank you for motivating me time and again. wadever u said tt time at sana were one of the things tt kept me going throughout the course and i thank u GREATLY for tt. (:

18 days of challenges and fatigue have finally come to an end.
the journey of our CI life has finally begun.
hiphip hooray!

To my squad Aplha~
Our squad is a superbly special squad.
For the past generations of CIBTC squads, they were all Alphas then when it came to the 75th year, Aplha was born all becoz of our baton awardee Kevin lmao.
even though there were times when it seemed soo bleak, we spurred each other on till we reached the finishing line of the course.
wif jokes and countdowns, time seemed to fly so fast.
ytd we were blur trainees all rusty and unrefined. today, we are CIs, brand new.
we came in the course as strangers and left the course as friends.
its just amazing how 18 days of torture bonded us together to have a relationship tt seemed to have lasted for 18mths.
i just want to go bak for another 18 days of course again!
ok im crazy LOLs.
anyways, we didnt have a squad cheer unlike the rest, we weren't the most prominent squad in the batch. But all tt doesnt matter for the other squads can never share the bond we had with each other.

I'll never forget the times i had with u guys~

2008-11-24T18:39:00.000-08:00

since im sorta free right now(since im somewhat finishing my lesson plans), i'll post a little post.
the past numerous days had been pretty hectic for me i shld say.
not realli used to being tt bz lols.
had to travel here and there and its starting to feel as if im a business woman travelling around the world to settle numerous projects.
its as if im gonna sit for a 2nd O lvl examination onli this time, theres a higher expense.
loads of things i hafta buy( track pants, singlets and for pete's sake i haf to get a new pair of undergarmets LOLs -.-)
owell, its wad u wld do for the unit i guess, if ure someone hu's passionate and committed.

lots of things have to be done to prepare myself for the course im attending(especially since some of the hardskills and softskills ive learnt had been forgotten)
1 week to prepare till the actual start of the course.
ahh fish sticks...
its gonna be a packed holiday i shld say lols.
and tts a gd thing becoz unlike those couch potatoes at home who are not working, i have things to do during the holidays.
its sooo much better than rotting at home.
i still can remember when all of us were still preparing for the O lvls, every single one of us cldnt wait for the examination to be over.
but now when it IS finally over, we long for school again. lols.

Farewell night was awesome i shld say.
though there were some loop holes. o.o
unlike last year, there was no 'best unit cadet' award presented to anyone and there was no 'token of appreciation' given to the sec 4s lols.
but overall, the farewell night was ok.
great job everyone (:

Thank you, TOs, Mr Lathif, Mr Tan, Ms Koh, and most importantly Ms Tay for bringing all of us up to where we are today.
and CIs, HANISAH, Abdullah, Vincent, Joel, Dzafir(HAH! i spelt it right this time...right? o.O) for ur mama and papa talks and scoldings and encouragements.
Sebastian Foo, YeeMeng and our dear HO Kenny, for ur supports as well.
for abdullah, ur horniness and nonsense nv fail to humour me. LOLs.
and vincent, ur encouragements especially the most recent one realli reminded me alot on why i joined npcc in the 1st place.
hanisah, nid i say anymore? lols. ure basically our mama xD
ive learnt alot from u guys.
love ya all loads!
uve realli groomed all of us frm little vulnerable very immature kids, to fighters and more responsible young adults.
A very big THANK YOU to all of u :D

To the sec 4 squad:
just as when we finally realised our true potential, our npcc life ended.
even though we perspired like nobody's business(especially Lawrence LOLs. oops :x), got scolded upteen times, were demoralised time and again and for some of us, experienced ms tay's 2 hr lecture, we took all of them in and persevered till the end.
as a squad, we supported each other, till we finally reached the finishing line of our npcc life.
if it weren't for u guys, i alone wld not have made it thru those seasons.

you guys were my buddies, my squadmates and my family.
and i will nv forget each and everyone of you and the wonderful and horrible times we shared together; the tears, sorrows, disappointments, happiness and satisfactions.
farewell but not goodbye (:

2008-11-13T00:00:00.000-08:00

To have been posted to Canberra Secondary School proved to be the beginning of the most exciting and challenging phases of my life.
Since its inception 9 years ago, Canberra Secondary School strived to be the best.
The once small and not so recognised school have grown and been nurtured into a reputable Autonomous one in Sembawang.
Throughout my 4 years of education here, I have been given the opportunity to witness the growth and blossoming of the school.
Ideas after ideas, achievements after achievements.
I looked forward to having an enriching and fruitful 4-year learning experience and i consider myself largely priviledged to have been given the golden opportunity to make up a small yet significant part of the Canberra family, as she sets herself to strive for greater successes and continue accomplishing what she has always promised - in providing a well-rounded education of quality.
Canberra Secondary School has since marked her success with numerous recognitions of distinction and it is definitely not difficult to understand why.

Amongst the many wonderful things that had happened to me in Canberra Secondary School, were the friendships that i had forged with my buddies in school.
School would have been a very dull place without the laughter and tears i shared together with them.
Be it through in-class activities or CCA interaction, I felt that these were effective and genuine channels for friendships to be built.
It was only a matter of time till i realize that the friends whom i had made throughout these four years would go on to be the ones for life.
Even when the going got tough and coping with the pressures from all aspects of life seemed so difficult, these testing times only served to strengthen our friendships and trust for one another.
Although none of us expected our school education to be smooth sailing, having made it through goes to show how important my friends were in comforting and motivating me.
Without them, school would not have been like a home to me.

The teachers, too, had always been my source of inspiration and strength.
They were certainly one of the most influential groups of people in my life - leading me not just through mere words, but also more importantly, with their actions.
They were a group of hardworkers who constantly placed in the effort to impart their skills and knowledge, in the most interesting and creative manner.
The teachers showered us with concern and guidance, spurring the students on as we raced towards the finishing line of our secondary school life.
I still remember so vividly how teachers like Mr Lathif, my Mathematics teacher, took the time off our lessons sometimes to inspire us and get us back on the right track.
Some of the wonderful things he shared would most probably be the "brickwall theory" and the most recent "meanings to achievements".
He taught us deligently how to be competitive academically and yet at the same time be a better person as a whole.
My English teacher, Mrs Lee, made lessons come to life with her spontaneity and humour.
Of course not to mention our ever amiable and bubbly Additional Mathematics teacher and cohort manager, Mr Ng, who would regenerate our never-say-die spirit and constantly motivate us to strive for the best.
In short, the teachers were always there for us when we needed them.

At times, they can be very fun and bubbly people too, participating in games against students and putting up performances for us on various school occasions too.
As such, it is little wonder why students and teachers in Canberra Secondary School enjoyed such a good rapport and strong relationship.

I too would have to thank our sporty and athletic Principal and Vice-Principal, for allowing Canberra Secondary School to exude her full potential and ensuring students that we have a second home.
Their combined efforts with the teachers had breathed in life and hope into our school, allowing her to soar to greater heights and achieve greater achievements.

To say that Canberra Secondary School has greatly affected her students in all positive ways would have been an understatement.
Canberra Secondary is a place where the young learn about life; about values and moral values; about strength and perseverance; about gratitude and forgiveness.
All these would never have been possible without the combined effort of both the teachers and students.
Canberra Seconday School was where i found new beautiful friendships, experienced my most difficult moments and learnt meaningful values that would guide me throughout my life.
It was where i discovered my true potential.

It has been and will always be, the place of boundless opportunities - where dreams are made true and where the sky is the limit.
The embark on a difficult yet worthwhile journey of 4 years has definitely been a memorable one - one that will be hard to relinquish.
Into her 10th year, I believe that Canberra Secondary would continue to make further breakthroughs in all fields of education, surpassing the best and scale yet greater heights!

credits to an ex-student of XinMin Sec Sch

13th September, Saturday, 12:30 PM

2008-11-09T16:34:00.000-08:00

I have been through this b4.

The turmoil, pain & struggles of nurturing a relationship or a relationship-to-be.

Though all of these kinds of stress seem to have subsided alreadi & I am on the process of moving on, i am still posting this.

This post is not about me anymore but rather about the people around me, especially those who are currently facing the pressures of all aspects of being in a relationship.

Sometimes people tend to be very demanding.

Your loved one is alreadi doin all they can to pls u and can even go to the extent of not being that close to their female/male best friends just becoz you would give them the cold shoulder or smth, due to ur jealousy.

Then when it came to you being with your guy/girl friends, your bf/gf gets jealous & you still make so much noise.

So your bf/gf have to endure the pain for the rest of his/her time in a relationship with you?

How much pain you want them to endure further?

Is this how you want them to spend their time with you?

Being deprived of freedom and certain happiness just to satisfy your selfish needs?

Come on -.-

Being in a relationship is not about your happiness alone but about both of your happiness.

Compromise

The most irritating & hurting comment from your loved ones," You don't deserve someone like me," or " You deserve someone better " etc.

haiz. comments like these cause unnecessary trouble & turmoil don't u noe? >.>

You both love each other, happily spending time together but still one of you jokers still want to giv this kind of saying and hurt each other unnecessarily.

Obviously the person you love deserves someone better.

But mind it, the person chose YOU.

Spend the times u both are having together to the fullest.

Treasure these moments instead of worrying over nth.

Don't go pushing him/her away just becoz there is another person hu likes him/her and u tink tt person is better than you(smarter, more handsome, more pretty, more caring, wadever u can tink of -.-). [unless u abuse him/her or smth. besides when u abuse, u wldnt want to let tt person off so easily since u dun realli love him/her and u onli want to continue to satisfy ur "needs". ]

If you think that this kind of thinking is a way of expressing true love then...i have nothing to say.

You don't want him/her to be hurt yet u contradict urself by hurting him/her with such words and mentality.

You do ur own reflection.

Last but not least for this post, like wad everyone says and emphasises, the need for communication.

Communication is important, not onli in BGRelationships.

When you want to get jobs done well and right, you need communication.

When you want to understand and be understood, u nid communication.

How do you tink bfs and gfs go on to become husbands and wives?

Precisely, love, communication & understanding.

If you realli loved him/her(bf/gf), you would try your

best to go all out to communicate, without worrying about ur

reputation.

besides, he/she will understand your efforts one way or another. lol

What's the point of keeping your "face" when the cost of doing so is losing someone whom you love dearly?

Get my point?

i have to compliment jimmy and qinhua for their efforts on kiping their relationship going despite all odds.

they have been thru alot together- fighting, misunderstanding, jealousy, etc.

but still, notwithstanding these stressful moments, they were able to take these testing-times to strengthen their bond together and not the other way round.

reason being, they were willing to communicate with each other - apologising when they were in the wrong(most of the time lols), compromise when there was a need, supporting each other at times of crisis etc. and most importantly, they trust and love each other.

so jimmy can happily spend time wif his frens notwithstanding their gender, qinhua as well, and they both have ample freedom and choice to make in their lives.

see, if they can make the effort, y not the other couples?

sheesh..sometimes ppl just follow the story lines of dramas blindly.

so much so that they are unable to think for themselves.

yes this post may sound mean, rude, displeasing etc etc most of the time.

But ppl, this is meant to wake each and everyone of you up frm ur dramatic world.

of course im not saying tt everything is wrong in dramas but hey, most of the things are just to make the show interesting and entertaining >.>

ive learnt alot frm my previous hurdle and im just here to share wif u some of the things tt ive learnt.

wake up, come back to

reality.

start thinking and dont

follow the world blindly.

tts all i can say, for now.

2008-11-05T21:47:00.000-08:00

We think that no one cares, whether we ever disappeared from this world one day or not.

Many think that this way of thinking is humble or logical but actually this kind of mindset is just simply selfish and foolish.

Why did our parents go through the trouble and sacrifices to bring us to this world for?

And the excruciating pain our mothers went through to bring you to life and be embedded into part of their lives?

Answer is just simple.

They love us.

The life we live in is not

just about us alone.

It would be an utter lie to claim that nobody cares for us as there will always be ppl hu truly does and that is a fact that no one and nothing can ever change.

The ones who truly care are those who waits for you to confide in

them.

They wait becoz they respect your decision on keeping it confidential.

But it never meant that they never cared.

They care but it is just this one step that you need to take to allow yourself to be comforted and helped by them --look for them(of course if u dun find them trustworthy then dun force urself lol)

Like i said and everyone has said before, no one is perfect.

We fall, learn and get up onto our own two feet again.

No matter how great the fall may be, as long as the will, faith and

fighting spirit is there, you will be able to recover from your setbacks eventually.

Don't push the blame around for your failures and miseries for everything happens for a purpose.

Without these "down times", you would never be able to learn or have the opportunity to strengthen your fighting spirit to its full potential, would you?

For all that is worth, it is a blessing in disguise.

But while you go through these difficult times, understand that you're not the only soldier fighting these battles.

Remember that you are never alone.

2008-11-01T15:57:00.000-07:00

yups. evident enuff tt pigpig loves her new bed lols.

2008-10-30T13:24:00.000-07:00

yesterday was my last session with my maths tuition teacher, Mr Foo.

all i have to say is, i'll miss him dearly and i will always be grateful for his patience, guidance and wisdom. lols.

btw, he is 70+ yrs old if im not wrong o.o

such an elderly man like him still working as a teacher even though he has retired lols.

passion for teaching i guess and i admire him for tt.

oo and thamhin just told me to stay strong. THX LOADS lmao.

anywayyyy, when we quarrelled(not violently of course lols) over maths questions and when he knew tt i was frustrated inside, all he did was to keep quiet and continued to teach.

b4 the whole session was over, all was well again.

even though i disappointed him over and over again, nv once did he scold me.

He still patiently continued to teach me and encouraged me to strive for the better.

when i finally achieved both distinctions for mathematics and a-maths for the prelims, he was..happy lols.

it simply brought smiles to my face and satisfaction when i could make an old man like him proud.

but nevertheless he told me to not be complacent.

during this period of the O lvls, he still calls to ask about the paper i did.

sadly, i cldnt tell him confidently tt i wld still get a distinction for a-maths. =/

but he still encouraged me time and again.

He was one of my sources of inspiration and strength - teaching me not only through mere words but by his actions as well.

im glad tt i had a teacher like him and i will always be grateful.

Thank you. (:

2008-09-30T01:00:00.000-07:00

right now i do not realli have anything much to do lols(yea i noe, ive got hw and revision to do. for some reason, i dun feel like doin so for the whole day x.x)
so here i am giving in to SOME ppl's demands. lol
O lvls are so sooo close... -.-
22 days to be exact zzz.
how on earth am i gonna pull my failing sciences to at least a B in 20 days?
owell, we'll see.
and im celebrating my ahma's bdae tmr.
having second thoughts on whether or not i shld attend her 80 smth bdae.
yet again..i wanna meet up wif my beloved cousins whom i missed for almost the whole year ):
haiz..dilemma dilemma.

anyways,
recently ive been hearing alot abt some ppl
even though im supposed to be worried abt myself and not be too presumptuous ,i cant help it but to voice out my concern
long story short: even though the tension to score well for O lvls is rising, we shld take it in our stride.
so wad if ure stressed out?
wad right do we have to pull others down together with us?
all in all, we shldnt let the O lvls affect us negatively not only emotionally but in terms of character as well.
and here i am contradicting myself hehs.
not to mention, i dun even noe wad im talking abt -_-
huever is reading this post is probably wasting his/her time lmao.
but hey, at least its longer than david's scamming post(the one tt cheats ppl's feelings HAH)

Just something to share with all of you:
When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place

i got this sentence frm ZhiHui and ive been advocating it ever since. (:

2008-09-13T20:45:00.000-07:00

hahs
yups david is right i guess.
i aint leaving yet so i shldnt post the post i posted hours ago lols.
u guys will have to wait till the last day of Os then, which will be on 13th nov - 2 mths from now
i'll post it up again on tt day.
guess those hu were lucky enuff to read it for the past few hours wld be considered largely priviledged lols.
owell. happy waiting.

In the mean time i will have to place in every effort in improving my results.
my prelim results were horrible.
yea sure, failed 3-4 sub. among the 3 are my 3 sciences. D7 D7 F9. lol
but i was satisfied.
mostly becoz i achieved results that i wldnt expect.
i got to bask in the limelight for awhile and to tell u the truth, i was overwhelmed with emotions when my name was mentioned.
simple incidents like these really brought satisfaction to my soul.
at least i noe tt the efforts i put in were not in vain. (:

O lvls are drawing nearer and we cant afford to stop working now.
each and everyone of us are racing towards the finishing line of our secondary school life.
the last lap.
the last 100m.
do not stop now.
lets not disappoint our teachers and loved ones.
lets all finish the race, together.

2008-09-03T08:00:00.000-07:00

im frustrated
everything is just not going the direction i want them to be.
my faith in Him grows weak day by day, my family continues to break apart with each passing minute despite my efforts , i have completely no interest in studies now, frens turn against me, i worry for many, im starting to lose sight of my values etc etc ETC.
argh -.-
the hatred held against me, the anger dwelling inside me.
wad on earth is going on?

and i just threw jovi's soft toy away from him.
somehow i start to wonder whether or not im sufferring from some mental illness =_=
symptoms of depression? lols
there are just too many things to handle.
it is just soooooo...debilitating.

O lvls are coming up and im still idling my time away.
there is just no drive for me to press on and more demoralising incidents are sure to come.
ive completely nothing to shield myself from these setbacks
ive no army, no armour, no weapons
nothing
all i have is my physical vulnerable body and frail mental strength
i forget my values, i lose control over my mind and worse of all i lose the discipline.
im clambering abv the level of breaking down as my strength and will to strive on are slowly depleting.
*sigh*

one of my biggest worry for those i know, is the strength of their fighting spirit.
their will to change, their discipline for self-control and to noe where to draw the line.
even despite noeing tt it is not right to commit such an act, carrying them out seems almost inevitable to them.
the nice and sweet ppl i knew had grown into someone i have no recognition of.
some slowly and easily leading themselves to oblivion, despite the many pleas tt had fallen on deaf ears.
by my silence, it nv meant tt i condoned to such behaviour.
by my silence, i trusted for ur discipline and initiative to do something about it.
why be so vulnerable?
why be a slave to this world?
why be lazy?
why be self-centered?
why bluff urself?
why do u even do them when the repercussions can be horrifying?
assumptions will only remain as assumptions until someone clears them all
its ok to hate me as long as u realize the truth.
its ok to find me annoying as long as u noe the purpose of my actions.
i will take everything in my stride

every single ounce of strength i have left no matter how weak or how fragile, i'll retaliate, i'll fight back.
and i have no idea wad im talking abt.
we fight our problems everyday and it doesnt hurt anyone to let it all out once in awhile, right?
Trust Him, Clarice.

Everyone's worried , including those hu are not realli close to u.
Get your priorities right.
the little actions done can make a great impact not onli on u, but others as well.
uve everything to lose by doin absolutely nothing
but uve nth to lose by doin somethin abt it.
Come on.
Make a difference in ur life.
lead and manage it, together with God.

2008-08-23T21:26:00.000-07:00

I just love the weekends
not becoz of the gruesome work i have to do
nor the many hours of watching television
but rather, the weekly 5pm (+-) run wif jim (:
i get to destress and of course confide in him after the jog
we will just pour everything out at the usual place we go to after the jog.
the place where i wld usually go to to have some quiet time lol.
just simply sitting there and enjoying the tranquility of the environment brings peace to my soul.
wif playful children running around, worried parents cranning their necks and screaming to make sure their kids are in sight, and the eventual laughter and joy tt will permeat the place.
I miss those days when i wld be reprimanded for straying too far from my parents or for being mischievious and rebellious which wld result in a resounding slap. :x
I just miss those times, when Dad would gather us together and emphasise on our family being a team
i just miss...EDMUND lols.
ok now tts random o_O
but yea..i miss him being by my side each time i nided someone to confide in.
when i clambered abv the lvl of experiencing an emotional breakdown, he,together wif jim, were there to comfort me.
but owell, life goes on lol.
just like how i know tt the time when i will have to move house will come sooner or ltr.
in the past i wld have dreams of my parents telling me tt we wld be moving to somewhere else to stay.
and of course i wld be waking up in tears wif cold sweat trickling down my neck.
i nv tot tt it wld end like this.
15, near 16 yrs of my life living in this house.
the memories tt are hard to relinquish
tears, joy, excitement, anger, fear.
even my heart breaks as i type this post.
when i shift to somewhere else, i'll no longer get to jog wif jim every weekend. i'll no longer have him to confide in. I'll no longer be able to head to the same place easily.
it just..pains me.
Why does everything have to end in such a tragedy?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Home
what is it to me anymore?
The place which used to be filled with love and warmth. Where there wld be laughter and fights, tears and joy.
The place where i cld look forward to after a day of sheer work.
home.
where is it in my life now?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Every vestige of hope is worth fighting for.
yes.
im gonna fight.

2008-08-11T16:20:00.000-07:00

This is an urgent news report.
Hi! I am Lee Ah Gua and this is news ham.
*the whole music thingy to mark the start of the news*
*dingding dong BOOMM blah blah blah*

Rejoice! For the hamster everyone's been franctically looking for has finally been found!
There were tears of joy as PigPig, the hamster, reunited with its owner.
PigPig sniffed with gratitude as a sign of appreciation for the men's hardwork and persistence during the search for her.
Even a slight tear was noticed as the round and allure eyes of PigPig twinkled with exuberance.
A parade was even set up specially for this magnificent moment to signify the success of the search for this precious hamster.
During the parade proper, the men marched in with pride, showing the precision and discipline of the army.
Such an important event leaves no room for mistakes as thousands craned their necks with cameras in their hands to capture this wonderful event.
A respectful salute was given to PigPig before the march pass.
All eyes and cameras began to focus onto the sky as the arrival of the 'PigPig AirForce' coincided with the departure of the army contingents.
The airforce greeted the spectators with a deafening entrance and screams of delight permeated the premises of block *** in Yishun.
The stunning display left many astounded and awed beyond their expectations.
Following that, a parade of brown and beige filled the area to signify the love and joy for the adorable PigPig.
The performance embodies the PigPig spirit with colours dancing about the floor to form a rather familiar image - A portrait of our dear hamster
It was abuzz activity all around block *** of Yishun wth the people taking the celebration to a whole new level!
There was loud music, activites such as face-painting and certainly, cute action figures of PigPig.
Last of all, the icing on the celebratory cake - A dazzling ten-minute fireworks display!
This is Lee Ah Gua, bringing you the wonderful news of our hamster's return.

PigPig was overwhelmed with joy and pleasure as she observed the whole celebration.
"PigPig...", PigPig felt an irritating nudge exerted with a familiar force and touch.
She opened her eyes back to reality, only to realize that it was all just a dream.

---------------------------------------------------------------
CELEBRATE PPL! WOOHOOO
PIGPIG HAS BEEN FOUND XD
it was 5:55 am in the morning when she was found lmao.
she wasnt behind or under the fridge.
neither was she in ~~evil Lewy's~~ clutches.
(my hamster probably outwitted him tts y she escaped HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA :x jkjk)
and no, i didnt use a starved dog to find her -_-
neither did i make use of the help offered by PROFESSIONAL HAMSTER FINDER: Janice MOO
its becoz... my hamster likes me tts y she came bak :x
ok la. here's the whole short and sweet story.

i was sleeping when suddenly my mum switched on the lights and tried to wake my sis up for she had a feeling she just saw PigPig. (note: mum's afraid of rodents xD)
upon hearing the news, i sprang out of my bed to search for her :x (this proves THE KIND of owner i am)
and woohoo! ALAS! shes finally found! xD
and she seems fatter than b4 o.o
did she eat xiao qiang while she hid?
or some large disgusting lizard.
urgh..
nvm. wad matters now is tt shes fine hohos.
and we still feared tt she was dead the day b4 lmao.

anyway, when i tried to wake my sis up she just shrug my hand off and went bak to her slumber -_-
sheesh lols.
cant help it. shes oso a pig.
literally lol.

and jovi's having fever.
temp: 38.5 degree celcius. :(
thankfully he is obedient today lols.
hes willing to take his medicine which he dreads(after some persuasion of course) xD
well hopefully he gets well soon. :)

2008-08-09T20:12:00.000-07:00

CALLING ALL PROFESSIONALS, SPECIALISTS, DOCTORS, FIREFIGHTERS, POLICEMEN, ARMY etc.
*CALLS 991,992,993,994,995,996,997,998,999*
THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!
A HAMSTER HAD GONE MISSING AND IS BELIEVED TO BE CRAWLING AROUND THE PREMISES!
USE UR MOST ADVANCED TOOLS TO FIND HER ASAP!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
PIGPIG HAS BEEN MISSING FOR THE PAST 2 DAYSSS T____T
dun ask me how she went missing LOLs.
she hasnt eaten or drank anything(being presumptious here)for dayyyyssss
wonder hows she doin now
maybe trapped somewhere in the small, cramped areas?
or maybe she ran out of the gate, never to return ):
a few hrs ago i dreamt of her and i tot she was finally found.
turns out it was all just a dream -_-
ahhh dreams.
they nv fail to play tricks on ya.
ahh sushi.
my dear piggggggg T______T
im alreadi heartbrokened enuff, pls come baakkkk T-T

2008-08-04T01:00:00.000-07:00

here i am to giv some comments on what david recently posted.
it is better to post it here rather than to flood ur tagbox.
u better be honoured david, ur name is here lmao.
ahemmm.

To begin with, i have to agree wif u on the stress we accumulate frm the amt of homework we have been given.
Though no one made it a rule to finish it all.
Joel made a gd point the other day.
There is no point in finishing all the homework given for some of it wld clearly be a waste of time.
yea doin hw is sorta gd as it allows us to revise and at the same time clear some of our doubts on those ques we do not noe how to do.
but too much of it is...sheesh. lols.
tts y i make it a point to stop work and get rdy to sleep by 10. note : GET READY. not sleep lols.
if we just focus on completing our work then it wld defeat the purpose of doin them in the first place.
i'd rather have ample rest to stay alert in class than to doze off the whole day, missing out on most of the important points.
i'd rather get my concepts right THEN get on the track of completing my homework deligently and fruitfully.

Next, friendship.
i do not feel tt abandoning those hu caused our downfall wld be appropriate.
furthermore, it doesnt seem right.
frm day 1 when we had first known these ppl, we alreadi had this responsibility upon our shoulders to be the friends we shld be.
even if these ppl wronged me, abandoning them wld nv be the option for me.
if i abandon them, hu noes wad these ppl cld become if i dun render help.
moreover, not everyone is perfect.
for some awkward reason, we tend to focus more on their flaws tt we become oblivious to their good sides.
it nv hurt to pause and perceive them frm another perspective.
so y not choose to handle the situation rather than to run away frm it all?
besides, u can always tell them nicely tt ure stressed and tired and u nid a break.
even if they did giv tt response, it wldn't kill anyone to tell them how u felt.

Trust. lols.
Yes i do agree tt it is hard to trust someone hu says "i can kip a secret" when him/herself is telling u someone else's secret.
but i do not agree on the point of telling ur friends ur problems onli if they told u theirs.
Their life is personal and they can choose to tell anyone their problems as and when they like or maybe not even mention them at all.
When they confide in u, they do not do tt onli becoz u told them ur own troubles.
they do tt becoz they placed their trust in u to comfort and help them in any way possible.
If the whole 'confiding thing' runs on the system of "i will tell u onli if u told me", won't the world be a more emo-ish place?
no one wld want to confide in anybody becoz they have to "pay" to get "comfort".
ok tt sounds wrong LOLs.
ANYWAY, it is as if we have to fork out part of our salary to compensate for tt part of the salary we lost. isnt tt abit redundent? lols
ok i have not the slightest clue on whether or not i got those scenarios properly linked to the situation. -.-
but overall in my opinion, people shld have the freedom to confide in anyone they trust and those ppl in whom they confided in shld have the responsibility to make an effort to carry out on wad they tink its best.

2008-08-02T00:50:00.000-07:00

It is difficult for ordinary ppl like us to face problems like these, especially at this moment of time.
But thru these experiences, we become stronger as a person.

Its never too late to turn bak.

Sometimes, u have to lead your life instead of just following it.

2008-07-13T20:32:00.000-07:00

hohos, im finally bak to blogg ppl~
not tt i have anything much to say buutttt i'll just dump wadever i can tink abt for now.
lets see...
went to sana house to help out on fri.
had to scan tickets, tickets and more tickets.
if i knew tt the job wld be tt boring i wld have just stayed in sch for another hour's lesson of physics than to skip tt session for this -_-
but well, its over alreadi. no use moaning over the time lost lol.
then on saturday had ss mock exam
topics tested were Venice and Sri Lanka.
as right were my instincts, Venice came out for SEQ and Sri Lanka, SBQ.
didnt have time to revise the previous day sooo..i simply browsed thru the notes while i was waiting for mum and while i was in the car.
i was 3 mins late for the mock exam.
furthermore i was the onli person late.
sheesh tok abt embarrassment.
but on a brighter note, i was 3 mins late. 3! hahs. i love this number :x
annyyyways, my ez-link card was held custody by my bro. ):
soooo..i basically slacked in sch till he was rdy to pick up my call -_-
ok not realli slacked but did the worksheet donated by mr Jason Tan lmao
can u believe it ppl? im doin chemistry! xD
when i reached home, tt was when the real slacking began.
watched tv, went to sleep, watched tv again and then bak to bed -_-
sheesh i have yet to master the skill of discipline
tv oh tv. why do u have to be so huge and tempting to watch?
one would never live a life without the perpetuate haunt of problems
nxt day which is today, i realized i have attained a few more kisses frm the mosquitoes - -
hohos the mosquito epidemic has arrived once again.
im soon gonna be recognised as chicken pox lady~
cant help it, the mosquitoes just cant resist me. and my blood lmao.
My heart belongs somewhere else. Thus i cannot giv u what u seek.
now recently ppl have been feeling pretty down lately.
wif regard to ytd's "debate", i just have a few things to say.
every decision we make have consequences
tt basically summarises wadever ive to say :x
ok now tts onli one thing lol
wun be blogging much anymore though, for obvious reasons.
be prepared to miss me ppl! lmao
Would u risk doing somethin unrighteous, for the sake of having fun?
farewell curious readers, for now. xD

2008-07-04T20:27:00.000-07:00

today's youth day performance was awesome!
the teachers were exceptionally hilarious and sporting(notwithstanding the way they dress xD)
momo was pretty nervous while awaiting our cue.
but all went well throughout the performance.
the performance touched many hearts as the diff slides flashed by.
especially the music lols.
ytd they were practicing quite a number of times, singing their lungs out, to giv u guys the best performance they can giv.
even mrs yue was excited abt it
see how dedicated they were? :x
all the more they deserve another round of applause lolz.
now here are the videos of their rehersal ytd. brought to u by

sabrina and momo, the musicians :D

after several practices, they eventually got the hang of it

ladies and gentlemen, 'Proud of you' by ur one and only group of teachers(& Mr Tan our principal) and a couple of students :D

and the great performance u ppl observed wld not have been possible without the participation and hard work of our teachers and students(sabrina, momo, qinghui, rest of 4e1)

bravo ppl, bravo! ~

2008-07-03T22:44:00.000-07:00

ahhh fishsticks
i just spent 2hrs + on a compo and ive yet to finish it -_-
*yawn*
nvm..i'll continue tmr.
and then i will revise history and prepare myself for saturday's mock exam.
ahhh~
work work work = =
speaking of which there's a physics mock exam tmr and ive not revised
#$%^&%$#%@
haiz. - -

go sabrina and momo and chers~
awe the students wif ur TALENTS tmr ^^
every action u make will be watched by a thousand students lmao. :x
jkjk

just giv everything uve got! :D

2008-06-29T22:14:00.000-07:00

haha! daddy's gonna get me one of those babehs if i do well for Os~
yesh~ *does tt hand action(whichever u deem suits the scenario)*
kip the motivation coming ppl! xD
but of course motivate urselves as well in the process lols.
lets all do well TOGETHER~

okies time to fry an egg for Jovi -_-
have no idea y this boy wants an egg late at night
when i told him to gimme 5 mins, he realli timed me and now he's chasing me to get the egg done lmao.
owell, time to satisfy this little boy's insatiable appetite
till then.

2008-06-27T23:46:00.000-07:00

hohos. oral screwed it up big time.
but thankfully, i understood the ques.
onli probs were, for reading, those words tt i learnt b4, i had 4gotten how to read it -_-
2nd prob, my mind was blank lolz.soooo..i was basically beating around the bush.
3rd prob, wadever i wanted to say, well for some of the words, i didnt noe how to translate it to chinese LOLs. -_-
shoooooot.

but im really fortunate to actually be able to understand the ques they asked.
THANK GOD lols.
andd to add on to tt, KENNETH NG IS a GD PREDICTOR. lmao
b4 the whole examination started, kenneth asked abt the 'not providing plastic bags every wed' thingy.
and it realli came out lmao.

anyways, thx ppl especially qp and rick. (:
AND QP, ure realli gd wif words~
all this time i wanted to express those heartfelt tots, trying to figure out the right words to convey the msg in a right way.
but of course i sortta failed miserably :x
hohos~ but nonetheless, ive learnt many and benefitted!
ur powerful and inspiring words worked wonders on me lmao

ok then, i shall end here.
and all the best to those hu are gonna take the upcoming oral examination :D
till then ppl`

2008-06-16T19:54:00.000-07:00

well i was bak frm another eventful day.
ive learnt quite a number of things while i was at church yesterday.
yet again another fruitful lesson.
but unfortunately i cldnt attend TZ again.
This time to attend an outing organised by my fellow frens.
i noe it aint a gd reason LOLs. -.-
overall the outing was pretty okay.
just tt it aint as fun and memorable becoz CHAR WAS NOT THERE :X
ok la those r one of the reasons lmao.
but the main reason probably wld be becoz..its just another typical outing? o.O
ok...? tts for me becoz i left early :x
soooo the interesting part must have been at the ltr moment, where new discoveries which awed some revealed themselves. so on and so forth.
during the outing i got my dad a gift for father's day :D

wads in there is all up to ur imagination lol.

anywayy, i left early and headed to VIVO CITY

did a little shopping for some things b4 i left for doughby ghaut where i had my delicious and scrumptous dinner at

a pretty lonely dinner in fact.
but i made new frens :D
Pastamania became a rendezvous for us lolz.
introducing...

my new fren camomile tea(hu eventually leaked into me),

ham&sausage baked rice(hu eventually turned into some mushy stuff in my tummy),

and the accompaniment of the shopping bags :D
(hu got emptied in the end)

my dear short-lived frens left me too soon );

but wads unique abt this dinner is..im eating alone!
seriously.
i cant rmb a time where i wld be sitting in some restaurant all alone, and comfortably enjoying my meal lols.
and i oso cant recall a time when i wld be shopping unaccompanied and moreover, feel at ease to enter any shop and browse thru.
i guess..some things must have taught me to be more independent lols.

while i was enjoying my meal, this "lady" by the name of REEZAL sent me this msg:
Hey yoyoyoyoyo ppl! happy father day 2 all those 'f.a.t.h.e.r.s'! sent tis msg 2 10 of ur frens hu tink they are fathers :-)
when i read this i was like "errrrr...-.-"
lame lols.

anyways, the staff at pastamania were polite, mindful, meticulous and hardworking :D
their working attitude totally astonished me. :o
these ppl actually find things to do when they have completed their previous job, without being ignorant to the customers.
eg. when i was blocked by a grp of ppl sitting infront of my table and holding the tray carrying a hot cup of water, a staff came along and offered in the most polite manner, to carry my tray to the table even though he was bz delivering food around.
how nice of him. lols
another eg. wld be, the cashier immediately went to wipe the tables, brought the waiting customers to the tables, etc. after completing his "cashier job". [wad? -.-]
restaurants shld employ more ppl like them. (:

i reached home wif exhaustion, and heaved a sigh of relieve lols.
finally, home sweet home~
first thing i headed to,
WAS MY HAMSTER HAHAHAHAHAHA :x
played wif it for awhile while watching tv and using the com AND THEN went to the bathroom to have a nice, warm, bath.
felt lethargic and off i went to bed to have ample rest for tmr's run wif jim and edd.
but..it turned out otherwise lols.

8.30am was the time we were supposed to meet for the morning jog.
and 8.30am was the time i woke up LOLs. -.-
simple reason, i had forgotten to set the alarm. -_-
thankfully i woke up at tt time and not any ltr.
becoz if i did, i dun tink jimmy wld have the chance to go to sch for his "session" wif mrs yue.
caught up wif jim at abt 9.00am and edd wasnt there.
edd was still hibernating. lmao
he slept at 3am for some reasons i suspect. xD
soo..didnt expect him to come down alreadi lols.
jim and i ran the whole of yishun park and after tt, we went for breakfast at a coffeeshop nearby.
after tt i accompanied him to his house, entered his house in fact, annnd did a-maths -.-
gotta thank his mom for the warm hospitality :D
thx!
and look wad i found in his house

focus, ON THE DOTS :D
its a spider.
2 of them in fact -.-
In a single room! lmao

anyway, i accompanied jim to the mrt station and off i went for home.
ahh holidays are ending soon and i haven started on my hw. besides a-maths lol.
well at least i have smth to look forward to when the holidays end which is..to finally use the notebook i bought weeks ago xD hohos.
alright then, i'll end here (:
the dreams tt i have been having.
are those just dreams, or smth more?

2008-06-15T23:35:00.000-07:00

*yawn* i'll post wadever ive nid to post tmr.
gonna have a nighty night sleep now.
nidda have enuff rest for tmr's jog wif jim and edd.
(:

2008-06-14T18:09:00.000-07:00

ytd momo, farhana, reezal, lawrence and i went to sch, initially to study :x
but well u noe..xD things do not usually go our way lols.
mostly for me, i ended up walking around spying on the cadets while they were having their training. lols.
after the whole "event" we went bak home and for momo and i, we got rdy for the dinner DATE we had wif MRS AW XD (Ms Sharon Lew)
for those of u hu have completely no idea hu tt is, she used to be the lab asst person thingy o.o or more specifically, the lady wif tt radiant face wif heaven's ray shining upon her lmao.
if u still have ziltch idea hu im toking abt..-.- simply scroll down and OBSERVE lols.

farhana didnt attend the DATE reason being, her head was SPINNING xD literally lols.
she cldnt find the stop button on time sooo..she wasnt present for the dinner.
while momo and i were waiting for our VIP guest, we were...

ZI LIAN-ING xD hohos. we didnt have anything better to do anyway, wad do ya expect? lols.
not long after, our dearEST Mrs Aw arrived!
and tt, my frens, was when the big FEAST began :x
orders after orders, plates after plates.
none of those could satisfy our insatiable appetite. xD
we chatted, laughed, played wif the food(someway or another :x) and nevertheless..

TOOK PHOTOS :D

when we were finally bloated after eating like gluttons(especially momo..OOPS :X), it was time to pay the bill and..hohos..u dun wanna noe how much cost we incurred. lmao

a clue though..its below $100 tts for sure.

and the worse thing was..i repeat, WORSE thing, we didnt pay a single cent -.-

after a cat and dog chase, dozens of pokes and tickles to get tt receipt tt we had to use to pay at the counter, Mrs Aw eventually paid the whole entire bill.

In retrospect, we shldnt have ordered so much T.T

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH -.-...

Mrs Sharon Aw!

i will get my revenge after i get my first credit card!

u jolly well dun run away! :x

and recently momo just left us...

TO TRAVEL TO SHANGHAI TO VISIT HER DAD :D

den mrs aw's heading to Bangkok soon.

cldnt any of u just shove me into ur luggage and bring me along? T_T

on second tot...nah lols.

sg is still the best :x for now lols.

and ive suddenly have this urge to head on down to pulau ubin :x

to cycle of course hehs.

i'll just see if i've any time to spare nxt week for this eventful trip xD

AND

sch ~~holidays~~ are gonna be over soon ):

AND

im just warming up on my studying exercise lols.

ahh shucks -.-

i guess we tend to slack during the holidays well simply becoz.. ITS THE HOLIDAYS. like duh.= =

unfortunately it aint a holiday for the sec 4s and 5s. lols.

owell.. =/

buck up buck up!

lastly..

SMILE :x

ps: rest of the pics are at mo's blog :D

2008-06-12T06:31:00.000-07:00

TODAY
we went to study

AT

Woodlands Civic Centre

:D
we were diligently doing our work

and yet at the same time...fooling around xD

so without further a due..here are the rest of the pics :D :

who is this crazy woman beside this i-am-beside-a-mad-woman-and-i-dun-care guy :o

look wad i found hohos. the 2 best of buds

how natural can we be -.- we were not rdy when this was taken LOLs

voila! cheese! :D ok for ----------> it wld be a cheese. other than tt...MMMM! ^^

a picture depicts a thousand words.
y not i leave u to guess wad was goin on (:

2008-06-10T09:07:00.000-07:00

well...just wondering if u guys wld be interested in this xD

i took this last night :x

mannn..shes getting obese x.x

and noooowwww..my sis is toking to her as if shes a baby o_o

lmao

2008-06-08T19:07:00.000-07:00

have been browsing the net and looking thru ppls' blogs and one thing ive learnt frm cher tay is, he is always researching O_O
research research research~
not being sure abt just one thing,no matter how trivial, he still goes to the net to clear his doubts. tts one thing i admire abt him and tts y ive gotta practice this habit! hohos
[sheesh tt gd for nth tay must be smiling now..LOLs jkjk :x]
annyyyway, learnt quite a number of things during sermon and the message realli came by pretty well.
den the rest went for the retreat while my 2 cousins and i headed bak home.
was rotting at home the whole day -.-
thereafter having a sudden urge to watch a movie.
yada yada..
man, im bored - -
hohos, i can smell the beef dad's frying :x yum yum~
off i go to take a little..peek b4 dinner xD
see ya'll then

2008-06-06T23:29:00.000-07:00

man there are so many birthdays coming up in june itself >.>
notwithstanding the huge number of birthdays coming up, i still have to wish this GIRL a very happy burfday lolz.
i have a feeling tt im gonna run out of breath after wishing those born in this mth lmao
*takes a deeepppp breath*
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U
U WERE BORN IN THE ZOO
U SMELL LIKE A MONKEEEYY
AND LOOK LIKE ONE TOO :D
no im just kidding lolz.
here goes

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO A D E L I N E~
*takes a deep breath*
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*face turning blue*
YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU ~ lmao

ive just risked my life LOLs. jkjk
have a happy 16th bdae tmr! :D

just recently sg got this island called Pedra Branca island if im not wrong o.O
and i heard there was a lighthouse built there in the 1800s o_o 1847 to be exact
sweet~
and sheesh..we have a monkey island? - -
things r just getting weirder each day -.-
and even more disastrous >.>
speaking of which, even though sg may seem pretty peaceful right now, there are a whole lot of calamities accumulating as the days go by.
more disasters, more conflict, more famine and even in sg, the weather is not consistent in a sense tt its either too hot, or too cold.
we r all getting closer and closer to the days when we wld all be judged.
at the rate we're going, i doubt tt we can even survive up to the year 2050 or even 5000 as evolutionists[if tt is wad they call themselves] predict how humans wld look like in tt period of time.
just one year, and the temperature of the earth increases by 5 degree celcius or more -.-
just 1 year, oil, rice etc becomes even more limited.
ok im just saying it in a scientific point of view.
but all of these things aint as important as the Lord's second coming.
its a reminder ppl lols.
well mostly to all Christians becoz they obviously shld noe of It.
but nevertheless..

yea its nv ez to do many things and sometimes while trying to attain it, we wld fall one way or another. for obvious reasons. we are all imperfect.
and of course sometimes we put other priorities b4 the more important ones.
we begin to lose sight of our main focus and end up putting our main focus on lesser impt perspectives of life.
wads even more depressing is the many ppl hu claim to believe in Christ but still continue to practice their deceitful acts etc instead of becoming better ppl.
i concede tt im one of them.
yes we believe, but by just believing, is it enough?
yes we say, but where is the evidence to substantiate our claim?
im not saying tt we must realli SHOW and just act it out buuuut..
main ques though: Do weTRUELY believe in Him?

"I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

dun realli noe if anything got through to u guys but...just be good ya'll :D

and yups recently so many things have happened
mixture of emotions start to surface blah blah blah.
feel worried for some ppl, feel happy for some ppl, feel guilty becoz of things i did to some ppl yada yada..
owell. lets just hope and pray tt everything goes well.
sometimes i wonder, y issit so hard to type a post like this? - -
having the urge to bring the message across, but yet again being deprived of the confidence, courage and Faith that are essential.

2008-06-05T23:44:00.000-07:00

29 minutes more till the end of VINCENT'S BIRTHDAY, and the start of my MUM's burfday xD
sooo..b4 it reaches 12 midnight..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VINCENT! :D
and when it reaches midnight..
HAPPY BURFDAY MARMIIE! ^^
sheesh i doubt she even goes to my blog but nevertheless..lolz

past few days had been pretty hectic.
so much hw to be done in so little time -.-...
even right now i still have like dunno how many outstanding hw to be handed up tmr zz
gonna wait for mum's return and we shall cut the strawberry cake :D
and of course surprise her wif the gift my sis and i got for her. hohos.

and now to reply some tags:
Reezal: of course how wld u noe sia. unless u checked lmao

MingWei: of course...eh jkjk lols

Lewis: NUUUUU!!!! SADISTIC TIKO. no squeezing of hamsters! except for me of course hohos. FOC stress ball xD

Yesmeen: no prob hahas. [SALON-rmb arr. LOLs] strive on girl! ^^

JAN ICE: momo its LEND! come lets go for lending and borrowing tuition :D and guess wad? just now tt LUMP was sleeping on me LOLs. guai guai de stay there wriggle here and there, made itself comfortable, den slp LMAO. cute right~ f3 hohos.

Jolene: re-linkED ;D

Joseph(QUEK): wa guys for free? y u tink urself as so cheap? lmao. besides i aint so pervertic to have a picture of a guy on the cover of my notebook lols. and FYI, men are PRICELESS ppl. ok not onli men, FEMALES OSO XD. ok i tink i went out of point :x wad i meant to say was..COLLECTING NOTEBOOK IS MY PASSION AND NTH(except myself) CAN STOP MY LOVE FOR IT XD

2008-06-04T15:36:00.000-07:00

oral today was..lols.
man ive had it wif me staggering like dunno wad becoz of me feeling nervous >.>
thankfully mrs lee said tt my readin was good.
other than tt...x:
i kept beating around the bush and just by looking at mrs lee's face wld cause my mind to be blank x.x
for eg.
me: "i tink it is more wise.."
mrs lee:"wiser"
me: ._. "i tink it is WISER for ppl to go to certified doctors and get the.."
mrs lee:" yes, tts it clarice"
me: *shocked and looked at her face* *O_O* *blank mind* *long pause*
mrs lee: "proper medicine la clarice..."
me: ahhhh - -

picture discussion was horrible, conversation was..totally off. lmao
there goes 20% of my prelim marks hoho
wonder how wld it go if i were to take the actual "O" lvl oral examination >.>
ahh shucks.

while we were waiting for our turn, sabrina, xian ngoh and i were practising.
fun part was us impersonating an american. u noe..using those accent and stuff.
everyone was nervous but nevertheless was determined to giv it their all.
soo..great job ppl~ :D
we only have roughly 1 mth + till the actual examination though.
buck up (:

now lets tok abt...

MY NEW NOTEBOOK FRESHLY IMPORTED FRM BOARDERS
i have no idea y but all of a sudden, ever since the start of the yr, i get all hyped up whenever i see notebooks on the shelf of a bookstore and wld have this strong urge to buy them even though i dun nid to :x
imagine me goin broke due to over-purchasing of notebooks - -
ppl run out of money usually becoz of spending too much on clothes, accesories, food etc.
but having a shortage of money becoz of notebooks?
now tt sounds a little ridiculous lmao.
ok..? just a little bit :x

ahh..fat hamsters.
just cant resist them.
now tts random lolz.
just look at tt ball of lump...aint it cute? xD

2008-05-26T00:26:00.000-07:00

taking the chinese paper can realli be a dispiriting affair.
to actually see and realize tt im seriously lacking behind in my language, it realli served as a wake up call, calling me, begging me to do more and prevent this whole calamity from persisting.
it is selfish to keep someone u love to urself.
but isnt it more selfish, to push someone hu loves u away?

wad devastated me the most was not my disability to answer the ques accordingly, but...nvm.
im most positively sure that they didnt mean it.
so i will just..put it aside.
ure struggling, ure fighting, ure persisting.
hold on. Hang on. and all will not go to waste.

And to my dear frens,
thx all for ur comforts tt actually warmed my heart.
they didnt realli help alot in easing the pain tt dwells inside
but they surely proved and assured me that i am fortunate to have frens, wonderful marvelous frens, like u ppl.

as quoted frm Lewis : God has planned it sui sui for me
everything has a purpose.
and its purpose will inculcate certain values and lessons in me, to become a better person.
so...as adviced frm Joseph, i shall go sleep now and watch the sun rise tmr and see a brighter hope each day lolz.

QP, hang on. (:
they're not.
but then again hu am i to complain, when so many ppl out there are sufferring much more than me?

2008-05-22T22:18:00.000-07:00

its been a long time since i posted anything lols.
might as well close my blog and see the same old bar of words again.
but aint gonna do tt for some silly reasons hoho.

now for the past few days, once again many different ppl have enlightened me in many different ways.
the most recent one wld be Reuben Ho!
yea ive realli gotta thank him lols.
long story short, just by reading his post alone, has inspired me spiritually and yet at the same time, made me feel guilty of myself and start tinking more in depth of wad i have been doin for the past 1 and a half years ever since i accepted Christ.
and sadly yes, im growing further and further from Him with each passing day.
sometimes i wonder to myself, why ponder so much on other things and not on God?
why think so much abt wad im gonna buy, where im gonna go for shopping, who am i gonna date, wad results im gonna get, how is my family gonna turn out, when i can be spending more time with Him?

ahh shucks.
my mind is in turmoil = =
for the past few horrible weeks, where it felt as if i was fighting a war without an army, i cld realli see hu realli cared, and hu didnt.
ok i dun wanna continue on this topic becoz i noe nth gd will come out of this. lols.
yea im stressed, O lvl MT is just 4-3 days away, and im not even 50% prepared.
argh.
cant take it lols. i will just list out some of the words i wld use shld i ever continue talking abt TT topic i just mentioned. For relieving stress purposes lol:
Forlorn Hope
Disappointment
Unexpected
Foolish
Naive
Girl
where
when
needed
unwanted absence
Trust
Fear
Hope
Sorry

hohos. im still feeling all cramped up. just wanna let it all out, but hu can i vent everything out on?
and i noe i had done many foolish, SUPERBLY FOOLISH, things which caused much dismay and aversion amongst the ppl i love.
I'm Sorry

DISCIPLINE ppl. DISCIPLINE.
i apologise for the random lines.
the whole post is in a mess lols.
i just..nid a break.
but unfortunately many unwanted things prevent me from having one -.-
shoo U!
shoo!

2008-05-14T21:19:00.000-07:00

Alright ppl, guess wad?
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
MY HAMSTER IS GETTING FATTER! xD

ok bak to the main point.
my results were ~~MARVELOUS~~, ~~WONDERFUL~~, ~~FANTASTIC~~!
hoho both languages failed, 4 Cs, 1 A and 1 B
LOLs. - -
i had alreadi expected myself to fail eng coz i screwed it up, big time lmao
why must eng be the first paper! T.T
moreover, why does it have to be paper 1!
i had a blank mind for half an hour.
this is wad happens when ure stressed and still adapting to the new environment lols.
EXCUSES LOLs.
the result tt surprised me the most and caused me to be dumbfounded was biology.
i studied a little bit b4 the exam commenced for paper 2 and i didnt even touch my biology txtbk for the whole weekend and went to take the exam for paper 1 just like tt.
hoho and guess wad, i passed my paper 2 by 4 marks and wads most astounding was, i got 29/40 for paper 1, the one where i didnt touch my biology txtbk or even study >.>
overall, i got a B4 for bio. not bad for someone hu spent minimum time studying on tt sub lols.

the paper tt i was most proud of was physics.
i admit tt i spent the most time on physics and thankfully i managed to pass.
wad makes it even more satisfying wif my results is Mrs Shermeen Lee praising me infront of the whole class.
the feeling is realli wonderful and it definitely motivates me hahs.
i will work harder to achieve my goal and of course to save my dad's face lmao
he is the genius in the house and his kids are..lets just say not as intelligent in physics as he is. hahs
well though its just a C6, its a step closer to getting higher grades.
so i feel tt my effort has paid off for this round.
nxt stop, PRELIMS

another one of those paper i was proud of as well was chemistry. and its all thanks to none other than THAMHIN korx2 lmao
when i calculated the overall results and saw tt i passed, i was on the verge of tears LOLs.
seriously.
ive finally passed! HAHA! woooo~
a step forward and time to take a bigger step ahead.

Chinese 'O' lvl examinations are just around the corner. roughly 12 days i guess?
ive gotta work hard like crazy.
have to squeeze 15 -16 yrs of chinese education into 12 days effectively.
and if i fail to do so, horrible results will be the consequence.
chinese hasnt been my forte anyway -.- well actually it used to but...things happen lols.
but still im gonna try.
even if i failed, at least i didnt fail without even trying and giving wadever ive got.
"Giv everything till we've nth left"
tt phrase and its meaning will always stay wif me, instilled in my life.

speaking of which, POP is this sat!
gonna officially step down on tt very day.
sad huh =/ well to some it wld be a magnificent day for them lols.
love ya guys! huever u are lols.
funny thing abt me is, ive got loads of things to say, ive even prepared it up in my head.
just tt when it comes to blogging, 60% of it is forgotten lols.
owell.
take cares ya'll
all the best for the never-ending exams :D
byes! ^^
oyea, b4 i 4get..
in 2 hrs and 35 mins time..its gonna be Lewis's birthday!
soo..since im not gonna be on9 at 12 midnight..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEWIS!!
i shall spare ur life since its ur birthday hoho.

till then peeps!

2008-05-12T23:23:00.000-07:00

looks like im one of the 8 "lucky" ppl to get tagged..by LEWIS *givs tt disgruntled look* lmao jkjk.

A) people who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.B) tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. these people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. continue this game by sending it to other people

#1 if your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
everything has a reason so of course i will hope to noe why b4 i jump into conclusions lols. but the typical me will just kip quiet and wait till he decides to tell mua.

#2 if you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
er...for me to noe, for u to find out xD

#3 what will your dream wedding be like?
mmm..i dunno? beautiful dresses are a must though. xD and hopefully the wedding will be held in an extraordinary beautiful place. hehs. ps: no kopitiam pls LOLs. jkjk :x

#4 are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
sometimes yes, and sometimes no lols. but like wad Lewis said, God has alreadi planned it sui sui for me lmao

#5 what's your ideal lover like?
mm..long story short. orginal, yet outstanding. females can be realli demanding and fastidious lols. well, its all part of natural selection i guess? hahs. everyone wants to spend their life filled wif different variety of colours :D . right?

#6 which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
its hard to choose between those 2. =/

#7 How long do you intend to wait for someone u really love? serious!!
how wld i noe if i realli loved tt someone at tt single moment? yea sure, it takes a moment to fall in love, and a moment to lose all of tt "special" feeling but.. onli time will tell. lols.

#8 if the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do? Wait for him/her to break up?
depends. if tt person is worth waiting for then yea, i'll wait. but of course i wun hope for them to break up -.- actually..on second thought, nah..i dun tink i will wait lols. hu noes, if i ever got to be wif him eventually, i might get kicked out the nxt day just like how he did to his previous girlfriends. its called fear ppl. hehs. well..it all depends (:

#9 is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
numerous, countless, LOADS of them.

#10 what do you want most in life?
mm..to live the rest of my life wif someone whom i can realli trust and depend on. Other than God.

#11 is being tagged fun?
NOOOO!!! T-T *gets rdy an axe to chop off Lewis's head* yet..YESSS!! xD *places the axe gently on the grassy patch of grass*

#12 how do you see yourself in ten years time?
leading a great life. but onli if im willing and doing my "homework" now. lols

#13 who are currently the most important people to you?
My siblings, parents and frens :D lols basically everyone :x

#14 what kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
A great and nice guy. mmm..have realli gd relationships wif his peers perhaps?

#15 would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
well tt depends on hu im gonna be married to lols.

#16 what are the 3 characteristics you dislike about people?
ppl hu take things for granted, ppl hu are..mmm...too self-centered and those hu simply assume without finding out the bleak truth.

#17 what are one of those things which you would prefer not to do?
make empty promises

#18 what kind of person do u think u are?
A reticent individual

#19 Give 3 sentences to summarise a few characteristics which you hope not to have.
A person who hopes alot, but rarely believes.
A weak individual, with barely any Hope and Faith to work with
A self-centered fiend filled with greed and immoral values

#20 A train carrying many passengers is heading towards a broken viaduct and right beside you is this rolly polly man. Will you throw the man to stop the train and save the passengers, or spare him and leave the train alone, waiting for the disaster to happen? Choose between these 2 answers.
leave the train alone and wait for the disaster to happen. AND feel very guilty and hurt after that. =/

Tagged by : obviously LEWIS
Here are the 8 lucky people[victims] who are gonna be tagged:
Abdullah
Hanisah
Janice
Yesmeen
ZiLing
QianPing
Joseph
MeiQi

2008-05-10T17:56:00.000-07:00

ok ppl, im sad, confused, angry, frustrated, irritated yet, i feel so blissful.
argh i hate it when he does tt -.-
and i can bet on my lucky stars tt none of ya'll noe wad im toking abt LOLs.
owell. expect the unexpected. BOO!

2008-05-07T21:55:00.000-07:00

hoho ive opened my beloved blog again!
man closing my blog is equivalent to...i dunno? making life even more mundane? lols
cant stand it whenever i go to my blog and see onli one bar of words.
it makes my blog sooo..EMPTY - -
currently revising chem wif Thamhin Shifu lmao
i guess i nidda focus on the "lesson" now lols.
will update u guys on some stuff soon!
in the mean time...live ur life to the fullest ppl!(suddenly tot of this phrase on Abdullah's display nick :x)
ok im haphazardly picking lines to fill in this post lmao.
cya ltr ^^

2008-04-25T23:24:00.000-07:00

To work hard to get wad u want
The ever determined Sabrina CHONG has proven tt today lols.
she has finally and i realli mean FINALLY gotten her first A for the 2.4km run. hahas.

i was appointed as her "pacer" for the run since i didnt have to retake the whole test again.
and being part of my responsibility, i was supposed to push her to her limit to achieve the grade tt she needed to achieve in order to clear the whole exhausting test.
so i simply ran wif her, gave her a little "push" and voila, she got the A she had craved for for yrs.
Sabrina CHONG! see how much potential u have!
look at wad uve achieved. an A! xD
yay for Sab!

for the past few days(which seemed like decades), sooooo many things have happened.
one of them wld be: on thurs we(sec 4 UCC girls) wore our UCC shirt for the morning run AND we ran the boys route. AS right? lmao.
but wad makes today unique is tt this is the day when our class had some "bonding sessions" thru coincidences. lols.
after the 2.4km run, all of us, including those hu did not play this sport tt often, went to the parade sq and play frisbee hahas.
of course the pros occupied the big area while the rest occupied the smaller one.
and toot, while playing one of my contact lens came out AGAIN = =
so for the whole time, my brain had difficulty adjusting to accommodate to my vision and thus, resulting in a terrible headache tt lasted for the whole day. lols.

there was no chinese ASP today.
we had plans of goin straight home but i suggested goin to the hall to play the piano first(well since we hadnt touch it for a long time)
soo..momo, farhana, shihui, sab and i went to the hall.
played for awhile and saw siyao and the rest throwing the frisbee around.
all of this very redundent moments led to them coming up to the hall to join us and of course enjoy MOMO's "grade 7" music LOLs. (shes gd~ but there was this one particular song which she always played to "irritate us" that resulted in all of us [especially Chee Leong] "falling down")
as some "mingled" wif the piano, the rest went to play wif the frisbee.
and i was always or shld i say "fated" to be the monkey lols -.-
all bully me onli.
how can u ppl gang up against such an INNOCENT individual like mua! :x jkjk.
ANYYYWAYYY, while racing towards the frisbee wif Noel, we collided into each other and to summarise everything, i injured my ankle LOLs.
yeouch xD
one by one more ppl came.
and to conclude: Canberra Sec Sch realli has lots of pupils wif musical talents.

one interesting discovery to the nxt.
Canberrans realli have loads of surprises stacked above each other, with each taking turns to reveal themselves to society.

2008-04-23T07:57:00.000-07:00

lols just for laughs. got this email frm my fren and i find it pretty true yet...illogical sometimes lol. they shld make one for the ladies lols. if im not wrong i tink i have it somewhere in my mailbox or..it was just another ordinary letter which i deleted xD.
take this as an apology for not updating for such a long time :x
i will be bak soonn~ i hope o.O

2008-04-08T23:00:00.000-07:00

alrite just had my NAPFA ytd and these are the overall results:
Sit and reach: 40cm C
inclined-pull up: 32 A
Standing broad jump: 200 A
Shuttle Run: 10.7 sec A
Sit Ups: 39 A
2.4km run: 12 min 15 sec A

woots i have improved in everything.
hiphip hooray? o.O
okay la some remained constant for eg. inclined-pull up
in fact tt particular station was the biggest joke of all -.-
did until abt 20+ and my contact lens started coming out. left eye to be exact lols.

Me: eheh my contact lens coming out !

mrs tay[cant rmb if tts her surname :x ]: eh then u better stop. aiya can stop alreadi, hit 30 alreadi record liaos*for the time being*.

Farhana: *laughs* - -

Me: *continues to pull myself up 2 more times* *let go and fell onto the mat* lmao

i stopped becoz of a contact lens hu attempted to escape frm my eye.
how pathetic was tt? LOLs. -.-
main goal was to do more than last yr.
but hey, at least i got an A. hehs. >.>

yay to my sit-ups!
the sit-ups have turned greeennnnn. [wif ref to last yr's results posted on July 26 2007]
this proves tt im losing fats around tt area :x
ever since my horrible diet when i was in sec 2, my sit-ups started to suck lmao.
took me quite some time b4 i cld get bak into shape.

Standing broad jump was pretty much constant.
soo i dun realli have anything much to say on tt.
if u referred my score to the guys' criteria, i wld get an E LOLs.[just for ur info, min is 198 cm for those hu are 15 yrs old]

Sit and reach!
thankfully i got a C -.-
ppl say tt girls are more...flexible?
but not in this case lols.
maybe becoz im not one. lmao.

2.4km runnnn
when i was in sec 1 my timing was 12min30 sec >.>
den i started losing interest due to SOME issues.[some of u shld noe lols]
BUT i cant blame anyone for tt can i? hehs

and grats ShiQi for improving on ur standing broad jump and other areas!
for ur info she did better than me in terms of grades xD
5As and 1 B.
not bad eh? hahas
of course mahhss.
from NPCC AND UCC derh lehs.
great job to everyone hu did their NAPFA!
especially those frm 4e1!
ok now im being discriminating xD

anyways, my standard of eng is goin down the drain once again lmao
too much compo aint gd for health x.x
did a few gd essays, wrote until sian and now im having an avrg grade of e8/f9 for compo lmao.
not having the mood to write basically tempts u to write crap in there -.-
and doing tt realli often aint gd for the 'ang-moh soul' lols.
ure basically practicing to write THAT standard of eng -.-
if u wan a living example of a victim in tt situation, well, ure right here at her blog, reading her post right now. xD
POOR sentence structure, COUNTLESS GRAMMATICAL mistakes, WRONG expressions.
BROKEN ENGLISH!!
@#$*&*%#@$%%##@!#!$%@$@!!
argh -.-
i shld go to Hanisah's blog more often and read her chim chim posts LOLs.
but tt alone wld not be enuff of course :x
gotta buck up, big time.

and today, while putting up the schedule on the NPCC noticeboard, the pictures there just caught my attention.
cldnt help staring at the pics for a few moments b4 moving on to the nxt AND THEN getting bak to the same pic again :x
4 yrs in NPCC.
time passes by so quickly.
its like as if it all started ytd.
where we all first got together,still in huge numbers then.
when Majidah was still in NPCC, being our timer.
Azuwan and Farhan, still there.
Reezal still a monkey. now he is just an annoying brat LOLs. jkjk.
when we went to MacRitchie and was told tt it was a tradition to go there once every yr. in the end we onli went when we were sec 1 and tt was it lols.
when we went to Batam[post on march 2007] and came home wif many values and memories.
so on and so forth.

Having these kind of memories flash across my head just makes it even more unwilling to step down frm NPCC.
But knowing tt the sec 3s have done quite a gd job on the orientation camp, graduating peacefully wld not be much of an issue lols.
went down to sch together wif Leon and Joseph, initially intending to study. but we ended up seeing how the sec 3s were doin on sat.
at first when Hanisah first said tt she cld see me in Agnes, i was like' huh? ' and gave tt look lmao.
but after tinking for some time, i realized tt there realli was a little me in Agnes lmao.
of course mahs.
She's frm ChongFu pri as well xD
ok la tts not realli the reason :x
but wadever it is, Agnes had came out of her fragile shell.
Realli proud of her. hehs.
i guess i have found my SUCCESSOR XD.
im sure she can do a much better job than me.
Time is all she nids to reach to a greater height.

The times we had wld nv be forgotten, 6th batch of NCOs, 6th batch of Cadets lol

2008-03-29T22:03:00.000-07:00

6.00am was the first wake up call first started by our dear Vice-Captain, Farhana.
thankfully she called becoz for some reason, i didnt hear my alarm ring or issit just tt i off-ed the alarm when it rang and went bak to sleep, forgetting wad i did the nxt moment i woke up ? -.-
anywaysss, left for Canberra Sec and reached there at abt 6.45am.
shortly after tt Rong Hua came, then ShiQi, and then some uncle followed by another uncle hu drove in wif his white car and opened the sch gate.
we had 2 more practices b4 we set off for HTA.

reached HTA at abt 8.50am.
everyone was pretty nervous BUT determined to do their best.
registered ourselves, went to the holding area, prayed, got briefed, clarified our doubts and off we went to the place where we wld pitch up everything tt we had worked hard for.

1st short horn blast was blown.
All Captains went into the pitching boundary and checked for any fault in the logistics.
and then, it was time.
everyone got rdy as they prepared their watches and got themselves mentally prepared.
"BEEP..!" (or wadeva sound it makes -.-) went the horn!
this was the time.
everything tt we had sacrificed, all the sweat, pain and blood tt we shed, came down to this very moment.
it was our last shot.

everyone rushed in and started doing wad they were supposed to do.
"Canberra On bo?!" i shouted.
no response. everyone was too concentrated in setting up the things.
then again,"Canberra on bo?!!!!" finally a response came, "On ahh!!"
"on bo?!" "on ah!!!"
we started pegging and tying wif all our might.
5 mins past and the bashaar and gadget were alreadi halfway done.
"giv everything till u have nth...", shouted ShiQi "LEFT!"screamed the girls."giv everything till u have nth?!" "LEFT!!"
finally flagstaff was up but there was a little problem though.
the flag was not able to be raised up due to unforseen circumstances. lols.
but Frances, our heroine of the day, managed to get the flag up. weee~
everything was goin well.
10 mins and everything was up.
did our usual housekeeping and the long horn blast was blown.
everyone left the pitch immediately and fall-ed in.
other schs were standing emotionlessly, while we Canberrans were screaming for joy.
we noe we had done our best and this was the best tt we gave.
judgement soon arrived.

our SPOKESMAN/LADY: Farhana and LiHong
we sat under the scorching hot sun as the judges judged everything tt we did.
all of us held hands, and hoped tt nth wld go wrong.
judging was done, out of the pitching area, gave our dear Hanisah a big BIG grp hug and out of HTA via bus.
we left the place, grinning frm ear to ear.(especially Hanisah)
many laughters of joy and squeaks of delight were heard.
we were all... satisfied. :D

mr latiff was waiting for us at the foyer as we alighted the bus.
he was also smiling non-stop. man onli God noes how long had he been smiling ever since he heard the news.
we talked abt our experience and had a little laughter here and there b4 we left for home.

however, these joyful moments had its limitations.
ltr in the afternoon, the results were announced.
we didnt...get the position we all hoped for.
when i first heard the news, my heart literally sank. >.>
but well, at least we left HTA wif no regrets.
tt was our main aim ya?
and we had alreadi achieved tt (:

my prayer had been answered hahas.
i did not deserve anything in the first place.
to have achievements after this whole experience,to actually gain something, is already a great blessing frm God.

To all those involved in UCC:
I noe the news is hard to take in. even i was bz emo-ing in my room and staring at the sky lmao. Do not be disheartened ya? its not abt the position tt we shld be caring abt. we gave it our all , and tts wad realli matters.
Love u guys for all the effort tt everyone of u gave, for all the passion every single one of u had.
These memories and deeds will nv be forgotten (:

Go Canberra! ;D

2008-03-11T22:29:00.000-07:00

Ive had my own share of heartaches.
But sometimes understanding that nth is perfect in this world, brings a little comfort to my inner soul.
At least I will get the idea tt they r putting in the every effort.
Striving, yet being cautious at the same time.
No one in this world can ever fulfill ur every nid.
There r more than 6 billion ppl in this world.
6 billion ppl with 6 billion different personalities.
If u can find just ONE, man I salute u.
Other than tt, gd luk to u finding the PERFECT boy/girl lols.
But im sure tt there will be tt very special someone hu wld be perfect in UR eyes.
Its nv ez to accept ppl the way they are.
But like everyone says, ‘THE POWER OF LOVE IS GREATER THAN ANYTHING ELSE’ LOLs. XD.

Love is just a word. We put meaning to it. (Courtesy of Abdullah :x)

Love fills ur empty heart, ur empty soul.
It is becoz of Love, there is meaning to life.
The love for the ppl u care for, sweet indulgences like chocolates and even sports like Frisbee.

To those hu aren’t really their jovial selves, learn to accept the imperfection of everything.
Get back up and keep on pushing urself to achieve more than wad ure capable of achieving.

if you want something, put your hearts and souls into it.You must focus and want to achieve something. Stop sitting around and wait to be called, wait to be invited, wait to be led.(courtesy of Sebastian FOO)

And, for a few ppl, they may be causing u to feel uncertain of some things and even caused u to feel the pain wif just minor actions but kip in mind tt u may be doin the same to them.
Well it is becoz of this, insecurity and fear comes about.
Get rid of tt barrier and clear things out.
Yes u may nv clear everything but hey, getting rid of a few of those doubts is better than clearing none at all.
Put in the effort in getting wad u want. Iron out all the probs ure facing.

Obliviously, when things get too intense and demands our attention, it is then that we realise the sticky situation we are in. It is easier to just run away. But apparently, philosophers and believers had always stayed be the belief that running away never solves the problem. It will only add on to it. But temptations will always be there to do the inmorale/wrong/'looked down' on acts because they are always so much simpler.(Courtesy of Hanisah)

Do not assume.
And especially for the guys hu r supposed to be more MANLY, get the ball rolling.
And girls, be more gentle and take the initiative when needed. Do not always leave it to the poor guys wif many great responsibilities upon their shoulders. Lol.
It doesn’t matter if there isnt anything in common, whether fat or thin, smart or folly, beautiful or hideous.
Tts the beauty of Love. Its unconditional.
Wadever it is, just enjoy urself wif huever ure wif . frens , family maybe even TT girl/boy.Go ahead and play frisbee, hang out wif ur frens, party ur hearts out. lols.
Manage everything despite the quantity.

Man, hu am i? a psychiatrist? =.=
mmm.. Nah. Im a person hu CARES.

2008-03-10T23:51:00.000-07:00

You Are Sunrise

You enjoy living a slow, fulfilling life. You enjoy living every moment, no matter how ordinary.

You are a person of reflection and meditation. You start and end every day by looking inward.

Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy. You're often cooking for friends or buying them gifts.

All in all, you know how to love life for what it is - not for how it should be.

What Time Of Day Are You?

ive nth better to do -.-

2008-03-09T00:32:00.000-08:00

Marriage. What some invariably fear but what others excitedly look forward to.
Once married, a couple embarks on a new life that for some is a lifetime of a bliss but for others it is a period of troubles and unhappiness.
Divorce has now become a controversial issue among many married couples.

Due to the sacred institution of marriage, divorce should not be an option even if the marriage is on the rocks.
There is no turning back once a couple marries and this is evident from the vows that the couple makes on the day of marriage.
The well-known phrase 'till death do us part' is an obvious indication of what society has viewed marriage as.
The couple should stay married until the day they die as that is what they solemnly promised each other on the day they agreed to spend their lives together.
Moreover, the fact that witnesses are needed when the couple is taking the vows further affirms the significance of the vows.
These vows therefore should not be broken under any circumstances.

Divorce is a sword that pierces through the stability of a family in particular and society in general.
When a couple gets a divorce, their decisions affect their closed ones like their children and their siblings.
Children no longer have the close-knit and supportive family that they need in their growing years.
The snowball effect on the children is drastic, disastrous, eternal and immediate.

Furthermore, marriage should never land in a divorce becoz no marriage is perfect and the couple constantly has to work out problems between themselves.
Divorce is merely an easy way out for couples who do not take the effort to iron out their problems.

However, many couples state that irreconcilable differences have resulted in divorce.
For some couples, an extramarital affair by one party cannot be tolerated and the couple will seek a divorce. For others, an abusive parent or spouse cannot possibly continue living in the same house as the rest of the family.
In such instances, perhaps the children are better off wif either parent than in a trouble-filled complete family.
Additionally, a loveless marriage is another reason for divorce. For many people, marriage is synonymous to undying and eternal love and once this does not exist, there is ample reason to end the marriage.
In every relationship there will always be ups and downs in terms of feelings.
Going in seperate ways just because the feeling isnt there, is not a good reason for seperation at all.

In conclusion, a marriage is an institution that should not end up in a divorce.
Couples should try to work things out between themselves if not for their children, also for what it represents.
Marriage is one of the building blocks of society and if it breaks down, the fragile structure that society is made up will be destroyed.

wadeva happened this week, made me realized tt i have failed as a daughter, a sister and a fren.
dun u noe how guilty i feel right now?
how big the wound has become?
why cant u see how much she loves u?

2008-03-01T21:06:00.000-08:00

Basically, i have been rotting at home today.
UCC competition has been postponed due to the bad weather.
i heard tt once they postponed it, it suddenly stopped raining. lmao
well there r a few advantages for postponing the competition.
1. Abdullah can come and support now tt the science thingy wld be over i guess? xD
2. More Time
3. The Girls wld be more..physically rdy by then :x

this morning when i woke up i had a slight fever -.-..
maybe it is becoz of the FRIED chicken tt i ate and the COLD DRINKS tt i drank.
or... maybe its becoz i slept late ytd.
had headache the whole day. blah blah blah
ok fine, it was my mistake for consuming those stuff >.>
resisting temptation isnt an ez task =/

anyways,
i haven really been myself nowadays.
is it becoz im too stressed, or issit becoz im taking things for granted.
ok i tink its the second one.
last week, everything was goin so well tt i cldnt ask for more.
but soon everything starts goin wrong.
all becoz of one person. Me.
Parents hu demands love, hu treats me like a messenger or some information producer.
y cant they do it themselves? =/
i mean, yea it is the right thing to help them but..things like these just arent the things tt im supposed to help in.
i hate it when i start flaring up, i hate it when i start being complacent, and most of all i hate it when i become self-centered.
its like there is this on-off switch in me.
at times it wld be on and at times it wld be off.
cant i just jam the switch at 'ON' so tt i wun have to off again? >.>

i have been saying things tt hurts ppl alot.
i didnt even tink b4 i say anything.
those actions tt i did, those things tt i said.
There was minimum self-control.

Mind over body they say.
but in this case its the mind over the heart.

If the heart was pure, none of those thoughts would have come across the mind.
and if none of those thoughts came abt, none of those actions would have been made.
im trying hard, to change hu i was b4.
self-centered, ill-disciplined, weak-hearted.
yea tt was me a long time ago.
but even so, up till today, those characters come bak every now and then.
Even if God is here, i will not change if i am not willing to.
He gave me the strength to overcome the problems i faced, He was there to guide me.
He did so much for me, so much that even if i gave my life to Him, it wldnt be enuff.
Where is the fire in me, the burning passion tt i had?

and im not the onli one experiencing tt. lols.
sometimes we humans realli are tt weak no matter how macho or how smart.
but it is our will tt kips us going.

speaking of which, CA1 results would be out nxt week.
wadever it is, do not be demoralised wif the results u wld receive.
u may have studied hard for this test but didnt receive the results u deserve.
learning frm ur mistakes is wad matters here.
yea such a common phrase lols.
but this phrase does have a very big point there.
and most importantly have the will to improve.
take mr latiff's brick wall theory for instance lol.
in life, all of us wld somehow hit a brick wall eventually no matter how smooth the path may be.
it is up to us whether we want to climb over it, dig under it, fly over it, break thru it -.-...
aiya wadever it is,
no matter how hard the brick wall may be or how huge or how many there are, it all comes down to us.
whether we want to face and challenge it, or just sit there, hoping for a miracle to happen.
i guess this is one of those theories tt kept him goin even though he is experiencing problems right now.
he is a strong man not becoz of his physical size lols.
he is strong becoz of the size of THIS portion in his heart. *points points*
Fortunate wife and daughter he has. hahas.

many things have happened this week.
things tt made me learn, and things tt made me fall.
i will just list them out and explain briefly due to the post bein too long alreadi.
and becoz of tt i tink SOME ppl are gonna start complaining :x :
1. ThamHin. the guy hu proved to me tt ppl like him EXISTS. rushing to clear some of my doubts on physics and doin wadever he cld to make sure i understood b4 the paper started actually made me dumbfounded hahas. ok i alreadi knew tt he is like tt a long time ago. but hey, it happened to me so might as well say it here.
2. Frances. The girl hu proved to others tt nth is impossible as long as u put in the hard work. She was one of the top 3 scorers together with the top 2 students in the cohort for Biology. and becoz of tt i tink im considering giving her tuition fees for biology. xD jkjk. Unbelievable? Believe it. lols.
3. Sabrina. The cute and amiable female hu is willing to try no matter how many laughs at her. despite not kicking the ball well, not aiming right etc etc, all she ever did was to have fun playing soccer, and not aiming for perfection. and becoz of tt she is one of the most respected person in the soccer team. Her actions awoke the 'trying no matter wad' character in me again.
4. QingHui. Talkative girl hu encourages her classmates even though they didnt do tt well. she continued clapping even though many stopped after the ppl taking bak the bio paper had B3 and below. i guess she was clapping for the improvements and efforts and not the grades.
5. Naresh. Tried to made me talk when i was just sitting there doin nth. He was pretty much my entertainer lols. Encouraged me to be more sociable.
6. Chin Chang. He is making every effort to be more sociable and to improve in wadever way he can despite the many ppl demoralising him. If onli ppl cld see the gd side of him.
7. Fatin. I just realised tt she can be as cheeky as anyone else around. xD

ok?
i tink i wun state the sad things here :x
but those r basically just the incidents tt hit me right on the head lols.
there r others but i cant seem to tink of them right now o.O
i guess tts it lols.
man how long did i take to type out these things x.x
one last thing,
UCC GIRLS JY! SEC 4 & 5 COHORT JY! HANISAH JY! ABDULLAH JY! DINO JY! MOMO JY! SEBAS JY! JOEL JY! SHIQI JY! LIHONG JY! RONGHUA JY! SYAHIDAH JY! MR LATIFF JY! AIYA EVERYONE JY! :D

2008-02-24T21:26:00.000-08:00

early in the morning, all of us(sec 4s including the focused and cute ms tay & excluding the "ladies",who of which went to represent Canberra for the UCC competition and came bak as deserving "men" lols) left the sch at around 7.34am and then left for ubin at abt 8am.
we actually intended to rent the bikes to head to our destination.
but becoz some of us didnt noe how to ride them, we ended up walking hahas.
other schs were either using bikes or ride in vans.
we were the onli sch walking.
not bad.
besides, a little walk wldnt hurt anyone.
when we reached, we gathered at the mass hall where all the other schs were.
thankfully we werent the last sch to arrive.
had briefing and tt was when all the fun started.
the first 5 schs(we were one of them)went to do the flying fox first while the rest of the schs went to do the other 4 stations.
for some reason, whenever i wanted to say 'flying fox', i wld end up saying 'fire fox' -.-..
anyways, at first most of us were afraid lols.
a little nervous actually.
wad do ya expect? we had to climb 96 stairs up.
while we were waiting for our turn, we chatted, gossiped, and for ppl like me, "lectured". lmao
ok la not lectured. just..gave some simple advices.
anyways, after goin down the tower via the cables (-.-'') our fear just dispersed.
fear became enjoyment lols.
even after tt we actually wanted to do it again.
when all of us were done we went to play wif the rest of the 4 stations blah blah blah...
had lunch, etc etc etc.
ahhhhh. i do not have the mood to post anything :x
wad do u expect frm a girl hu is gonna take tests for ca1, unprepared? - -
anyways, after the whole thing, while goin bak to the mass hall, ms tay showed me a pic of the guy's bashaar and told me the gd news.
i was like jumping for joy hahas.
nxt wld be the girls' turn.
since the guys had done wad they had to do, the girls wld have to do the same.
man i realli dun have the mood to post - -
one of the lousiest post i ever made :x
no life, its like as if im just posting for the sake of posting lmao.
i actually intended to include all the details and such.
i even intended to post wad i read abt in the magazine.
buuuttt...welll, things do not always go our way lols.
i will just leave u guys wif the pics then.

2008-02-14T22:58:00.000-08:00

Valentine's day.
a day when everyone loves MORE :x
got valentine's day gifts frm a few ppl.
frm...MRS LEE & MISS NG & VALENTINO :D
others r personal lmao.
i myself gave Valentino, Jolene and Andrie presents hahas.
its their bdae today!
HAPPY BURFDAEEE! HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY! HAPPY total defence day -.-...
14/02/08
man im gonna remember this day hahas.
miss ng gave us lollipops, we had a 'lucky draw' & a free coupon(which was our CA1 timetable lmao-.-) frm mrs lee and valenDINO gave me a card!
im one of the 14 ppl he gave to u noe. f3f3 LOLs. ahem ahem
jkjk
but im flattered hahas. thx DINO (:
met ZiPeng and HuiYing on the way bak.
had a gd chat wif zipeng b4 i left for the bus which i had to take.
he actually started giving ppl valentine's day gifts at 5am LOLs. -.-
for HuiYing..u guys shld noe baaaa lols.
anyways here r the pics :

LAWLipops :D
wad i got frm the 'lucky draw' :x
Card tt Dino gave (:
Wad i gave my dad and mum few yrs bak for their wedding anniversary

2008-02-07T23:56:00.000-08:00

after having a talk with my dad today, i finally knew.
all this propaganda in my house, can realli be confusing o.o(like duh. -.-)
but at least now i knew tt my dad truely loves us and always did.
its just tt his mind has been...blurred by some ppl.
the cloudy image in his head.
maybe it is becoz of some things tt happened which allowed him to think clearly once again.
or maybe its becoz he cldnt express himself properly all this while.
wadever it is, wadever happens, at least my burden has lightened a little.
even if he had to leave, i noe tt he will always love us no matter wad, and no matter wad happens we will always love him.

and like my dad, i cant express myself well all the time. lols.
runs in the family i guess -.-
its a dangerous thing >.>
its either im too complicated, or its just hard to express my emotions.
and like my mum, i feel hurt easily lols.
its oso a dangerous thing -.-
put both together and voila, a disaster is formed.
disaster referring to me not them lols.
if i cant express myself well, i end up not being able to convey my msg properly and..once i start tinking of the consequences i wld feel hurt and more importantly..i wld cause others to feel hurt by behaving tt way.
when i am upset, i wld start doin all sorts of stuff to ease my pain lols.(dun worry im not so emo until i wld cut myself or do other stuffs like tt -.-)
things like:
-playing sudoku LOLs.
-blogg (aint tt effective though. coz i can onli say THIS much. if u noe wad i mean lols)
-write abt it in my diary(yea i have one lols. and it may not be on paper)
-Pray(He has always been there. Its all becoz of Him, i am able to make it this far)

yups those r just some of the main things i wld do.

now for today.
went to relatives' house to visit.
blah blah blah.
had THE talk wif cousins lol.
spent time wif them and such.
dennn went home and here i am blogging.
oya and b4 tt i found those old stuff i had.
those papers and things in the box i have.
dating all the way bak to...i dunno. quite long alreadi.
read those letters sent to me, those papers i kept.
gd times lol.
when everything was still okay, everyone was happy, we all had fun and such.
tt reminds me of the car ride i had to home just now.
we were all laughing in the car coz of jovi's lack of knowledge on balls lol.(if u noe wad i mean)
my bro and dad had a conversation on the car tyre or somethin.
den those thingys were made of steel balls and stuff.
the conversation led to my bro asking " den u show me la"
we all started laughing our heads off >.>
mmm.
this laughter, im gonna miss it.
it may be the last time we wld be having a time like tt.
of course i hope tt it wld not be =/
but..owell.
thankfully no one caught me shedding a tear during the whole scenario lols.
i repeat it was A TEAR.
i wasnt crying hahas.
see.
a simple yet nice day. (to me)

while having THE talk wif my cousins, i suddenly felt like goin for parade LOLs.
funny thing huh -.-
but then, at tt moment, i knew why i love NPCC so much, y do i continue striving despite having many downfalls.
reason being...
for me to noe, for u to find out. lolz.

having a chat wif sihao now. basically this was wad he said:

[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
swensen ar...o.0 but ur cough or watever hao le ma
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
o.0
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
ermm
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
wait till i recover lor
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
lols
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
still haven hao ar..o.0
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
bendan jiu shi bendan.. take so long recover
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
lmao
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
f5
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
smack
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
blehx
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
=.=''
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
-.-
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
btw how u le won die rite..o.0
l CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
dunno lols
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
hu noes man
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
i cld fall down dead any moment
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
lol
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
don worry u die le i will cry xDD
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
lmao
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
don be so touch i noe i am a good fren
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
^^
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
LOLs
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
-.-
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
don cry worx
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
lmao
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
but cny say what die die
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
choy~
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
--.-
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
btw
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
cannot die b4 i die
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
i won forgive u bendan...=.=
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
-.-

thx alot sihao lols.

he's a gd fren hahas.
even though he can be annoying sometimes :x
but still young la.
playful abit nvm. lols.
enjoy ur childhood while u can. :D

woots it has been a long time since i posted a long post. hehs.
and i have linked u alreadi lele ^^
thx abdullah for ur dedication LOLs. o.O

treasure ur family members, frens and the times u guys spend together.
put all ur differences aside, bond and Love.
u will nv noe when everything will be gone the nxt day.

2008-01-31T00:31:00.000-08:00

replies to tags:

Joel: lol -.- i cant manage time properly lols. at least not now. as a WEAK individual, i noe i cant lols. i wun wanna damage anything further if u noe wad i mean >.>

QP: thx qp (:

mrfeng: PERSERVERANCE! XD

xip: lol -.-

david: at least i listened and didnt negotiate for my punishment-.- i had to endure the pain of copying lols. so wad if they got a lighter sentence. at least i took responsibility for my actions.

2008-01-27T11:59:00.000-08:00

The Flea Market:

mimie and naresh

the e3 store
Our "Service" which only costed customers 5 cents per round -.

Ziling and Xinyi

e3's Service

Donut tt NaNa bought

Note the smiley face

Shy Pamela

DrinkssSnacks thingy waiting to be sold

errr..u wun wanna noe wads underneath the beard

Bear waiting to be sold at e3 store

Hardworking Farhana

Shi Hui :x

Cute Mimie

flowers

pink:Given by David,Purple:Given by Sebas, Dark Pink: Given by Edmund

Adeline's, Yesmeen's and mine

last but not least, THE PURPLE FLOWER (:

2008-01-26T10:57:00.000-08:00

The anger, hatred.
y are these emotions coming back?
this fuming sensation inside of me.
can it never be taken away?

even though there are many unreasonable ppl in my house, i blame no one for the state i am in today.
reason being,
1. my whole family is crumbling, everyone is stressed out. so... _____
2. i caused unhappiness here and there around the house(no matter how hard i tried not to).

i rather have them screaming and scolding me, than me screaming and scolding them.
trying to speak to them will end up in fights within a few seconds.
staying quiet is the best solution for me i guess.

i deserved it.
i deserved all tt i am goin thru now.
all the problems, all the pain, the hurt.
i deserved it all.
but nevertheless, i have to kip my siblings together, to guide and help them thru.
it is my duty and responsibility being the oldest sis around.
if i cant guide and help myself, how can i even think of doin so for others?
i guess this gives me every reason to be stronger.

a broken family would result in a broken person.
but it is the person's Determination, Resilience and Love tt kips the family together.

2008-01-22T00:29:00.000-08:00

it has been a long long time since i posted anything :x
cant help it though.
have lots of hw to finish and catch up on.
other additional things to do as well.
man. x.x
but i guess i have to get used to it sooner or later since its gonna become worse anyway.
now to reply to some of the 18 tags HERE:

rick: of course we r hardworking. :x bears have to wake up early in the morn and catch fish der lehs. den go find honey. den den den den other chores unlike PIGS. :x and kip pear entertained while i am bz :x

MrFeng: u too! :DD

CJESSC: O.O a chiobu just tagged me! man im honoured :x take cares too :D

david: trying lols. thx for the duno how many 'reminders'

MEIQI: orhs ^^

penghui: o.o ellos :DD thx for tagging ^^

abdullah: lols -.-''''

nisa: trying trying! :x

MrFeng: yesh. first few weeks and im falling down alreadi LOLs. and i haven even learnt anything!!!!!!! %$#@#$%$#@!@#$ >.>

Joel: -.-

martong: currently doin tt :x

xip: it doesnt even seem like spamming. oops? :x

yeemeng: of course mahssss. see, ppl miss me alot LOLs. jkjk

the rest of it i guess i have alreadi answered ur ques or doubts alreadi lols. another short post and another long period of hibernation coming up lols. i tink im gonna sleep in class tmr -.-''
and i haven even finished doin my hw! zzz.
do the chinese hw until pek chek alreadi.
just to let u noe i have been doin my chinese hw since..6pm? lols.
dun understand y chinese teachers dun understand how hard issit for ppl like me to finish their hw.
and instead tink tt im lazy and dun wanna put in the effort to do at all lols.
owell.
not tt im angry or anything lols.
just a little...confused o.O

ok i will post somemore when i have the time.
now its like..12.30am alreadi zzz.
yea i noe some of u guys can tahan sleeping later.
but hey, i aint u guys and u guys aint me lols.
soo...off i go to bed! (b4 someone starts nagging) >.>

2008-01-22T00:04:00.000-08:00

What Clarice Means

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

2008-01-01T19:37:00.000-08:00

Year 2008
probably the worse yet the best year for me.
depends on whether i want it to be good, or horrible. =/
The horrible part would be the stress coming up.
if i use wadever time i have and put my heart and soul into doin the stuff im supposed to do, den i guess all of this stress and hardwork wld be worth it.
ahh. im out of words to say = =
its been a superbly long time since i blogged a long long post.
and becoz of tt my eng has gone down the drain LOLs. -.-
even tt sentence has a prob somewhere. zz

this yr's resolutionS for me :
1. Improve in wadever way i can
2. Increase in wisdom and stature, favour in God and men. lols.
3. Ever-growing Faith in Him.
4. Doing MORE for Him.

tinking abt wads been happening in 2007(which has ended ytd),
i guess, it hasnt been a great year for me =/
i have taken many things for granted.
Frens, studies, almost everything.
My temper came back no matter how hard i tried to kip it in.
my character went down the drain.
my studies went down the drain.
infact everything went down the drain -.-.
ok maybe i have improved in some areas.
but it isnt enuff.
time to stop fooling around.
year 2008 is goin to be the BEST year yet. (lols. im just being positive. maybe i should say tt to myself in the mirror everyday. :x)
hopefully i can be mentally stronger and physically fitter.
i shld noe my basic priorities and have a clear view of my goal.
i have slacked too much alreadi.
its time to make a change.

self-discipline is to be present.
responsibilities shld not be pushed away.
no more wasting of time.
no more making of unnecessary mistakes.
besides, its gonna be a tough year for me.
all these have to be present for me to survive.

if i ever lose my way, reminders would be nice lols.
And,
to those hu helped, reminded and guided me last yr, i thank you very much (:
i would not have made it thru without u guys.

ok im out of words to say.
its been a long time since i crapped here u noe..(gives tt cheeky face):x
hehs.
fortunately(for some of u guys) i dun have the time to crap today. lols.
i have tons of hw waiting for me -.-.
so errr..
hope u guys have a blessed new year! :D

HAPPY 2008!

man ive nth better to do -.-...

2007-12-25T00:37:00.000-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! :D
just like wad my fren says:
its neither about gifts, nor parties, nor abt eating. but its abt being in His presence. letting Him into your life.
Enjoy urselves ppl!
Cherish the moments tt u spend wif ur loved ones (:

MERRY
CHRISTMAS!

2007-12-24T16:24:00.000-08:00

its CHRISTMAS EVE ppl! XD
ppl r out there enjoying themselves while i am sitting at home doin hw - -
this is wad happens when u drag and drag until the last week of the holiday. =/
o well.
i deserved it lols.
gonna spend christmas eve wif my hw :x
was hoping to go somewhere to celebrate though =/
well, just hope tt u guys enjoy urselves today and tmr (:
Remember tt Love is the most important essence of giving!
Merry Christmas and a happy new yr! :D
May God bless all of ya :D

just hope tt i can finish most of my hw by today ._.
and yay!
my hp can sms again :x

HappySlip Jingle

2007-12-24T07:18:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone! :D

Icecap

2007-12-24T01:16:00.001-08:00

A touching video (:
Treasure wad u guys have for it may be gone the nxt day.

2007-12-17T10:07:00.000-08:00

NCO camp

i tink it was a success though there are still some disciplinary issues.
but those issues r minor while tt little 1% of the issue is major.
wif many scoldings frm the instructors, the Sec 2s have become a more..disciplined batch? o.o
well at least now they have a better understanding of the phrase, 'one for all, all for one'.
pics taken for this camp will be uploaded soon.

UCC training

i 'sprained' my neck! T.T
we were carrying the logistics and walking across the grass patch until i tripped onto a peg and fell onto Syahidah wif my head facing to the left.
and voila.
i had difficulty turning to the left after tt -.-''
i didnt realli feel anything when i fell.
but for some reason my vein or muscle or wad was affected and there u have it, a 'sprained' neck.
so for the whole time if i had to turn to the left i wld either tilt my neck a little to the left or just turn my whole body to the left or, dun bother looking at all.
the last time(which was 1 yr ago.) i sprained my wrist during ucc training. now its my neck -.-'''

ps: for some of u all hu do not noe wad is UCC, it is a campcraft competition. it is conducted once every 2 yrs.

had chicken rice for lunch and it was bak to training.
we girls r still abit blur abt the bashar thing but im sure most of the doubts were cleared after the last pitching tt we did.
but the prob is, the ones pitching during this training, were not the ones tt are realli building the bashar on the actual day.
as in, this girl help us build this bashar for this training, but actually she is building flagstaff and not bashar. =/
well cant help it.
we were short of MA'AM power lols.
not man power coz the ones building the things were all ma'ams :x.
joked around sometimes while building the whole bashar.
the training ended up slackish o.o
but im sure after this training it wld be tougher.
no time to joke around.

my neck still hurts a little though. even though my mum actually 'massaged' my neck which caused me to feel excruciating pain = =
she actually force my neck to the left and it went 'CRACK' -.-
ouch lols.

2007-12-04T23:04:00.000-08:00

Here is a website to clear some doubts on speaking in tongues and all tt. just 2 paragraphs taken frm there :

Then ask yourself the question, could I, through this means be deceived? Could this be dangerous? The answer to that question has to be yes. A man whom I knew and respected greatly, now with the Lord, George Gardner, who was pastor up in Grand Rapids, who wrote a very excellent book on this subject was a former tongue speaker who left the Pentecostal movement, and he poignantly described the danger of surrendering one's mind and abandoning control of one's self for the sake of the euphoria of a tongues experience.

He said it's a very dangerous thing and this is what he wrote in his own words, "The enemy of the soul is ever ready to take advantage of an out of control situation, and thousands of Christians can testify with regret to the end results. Such experiences not only give Satan an opening he is quick to exploit, they can be physiologically damaging to the individual. Charismatic writers are constantly warning tongue speakers that they will suffer a letdown, this is ascribed to the devil and the reader is urged to get refilled as soon as possible. So the seeker for experience goes back through the ritual again and again, but begins to discover something. Ecstatic experience, like drug addiction, requires larger and larger doses to satisfy.

Taken from:
http://www.gty.org/Resources/Transcripts/90-61

2007-12-03T07:11:00.000-08:00

Attention to all guys :D

guys...realize that the girl holding onto u..is PERFECT in her own special way.
The way she laughs..
The way she sleeps..
The way she loves you..
The way she tries to please you...

Always remember that.
She can always get up and walk away,getting someone else who can love her more.
For all you know,there is someone out there wooing her already,but she is rejecting,a maybe perfect love for her..
There might also be someone out there..who is willing to love her more than you are loving her now,fufill her every need and love her as much as she loves you.

Understand that.
Imagine this, guys.
When you are holding her today...and then you cheat on her by hugging and kissing another gal.
and then you run back to her...and u do the same....but you see love in her eyes...
What do you think?
Do you feel the hurt?
Can you feel the guilt?

She loves you not because you are good looking,have money,buy her things,make her parents happy,or that you have a car.
She loves you for who you are.
Your every touch, every word you say,everything you do.

Guys.
Cherish and appreciate your girl.
Don't break her fragile heart.
She is the only one who can love you that way.
You won't wanna regret letting go of that special girl you have.
For everything she has done for you,the least you can do is to give her unconditional love as she has given to you.

love the girl in your heart, not in your mind.
if you base your relationship on feelings, it will fail for there are ups & downs in feelings.
girls are there to be loved, not toyed around.

love her for who she is.
don't even think about changing any bit about her.
6 billion people in this world & 6billion different personalities.
she's special & she will stay that way.
you change any part of her, you'll change her forever.
don't substitute her for anyone else,they are just unique in their own ways.

love whole-heartedly.
she sacrificed alot for you so you'd better really treasure her.
she could have just got up & date a so much more dashing guy in town but she chose you instead all because of love.
so love her guys, not play with her.

don't just get the girl to beg you to stay or what so ever.
if you're with her, love her.
don't cause a strain in the relationship, you'll end up loving each other out of pity or charity,that's not respecting love at all.
respect love the way it is & everything will be the best it can be.
don't expect perfection from her.
she's the only one in the world &she's done the best she could.

like another girl while you're in a relationship?
then I think it's time you remain single for a while.
don't go around breaking girls' hearts, it's the most tragic thing to do.

tell the truth, never hide anything from her.
if you want her to tell you everything, do the same.
don't go calling other girls "honey"or "darling", how would it feel if your girl calls other guys the sameway?
be faithful, enough is enough.
socialise only when you're single.
you socialise & flirt around is to get the girl of your dreams.
get it over when she's already yours,don't ask for more.

it never kills to be romantic.
think, be flexible.
getting that diamond ring isn't the only gift for her.
be realistic, she's human & she lives life just like you.
something sweet & simple always get the job done.
money doesn't exist between couples,it's the love.

never promise her that you'll love her forever because your forever might end the next day.
love her as if each day is the last.
sweet talks only apply for singles,not for attached guys.
do that & you'll really break your girl's heart.
isn't good being too well-known too,it'll give her a sense of insecurity.
remember, INSECURITY.

promise her & make sure you never break it.
swear to her & make sure you keep it.
pledge your love to her & her alone.
loving her is giving her your heart to break it but trusting her not to.
instead, she'll cherish it & protect it.
that's love.
give her your heart, your life, your everything.

lay down your life & prepare to die for her when the need arises.
but stay strong & live through another day, she can never live without you.
never, ever walk out of her life.
she won't just cry her heart out & carry on living as per normal, she'd die.
her heart that you've broken,how would you ever know how she feels?
winning a girl's heart isn't the final victory.
don't leave her once you've won her love.
love her all the way till the end of time, love her till marriage,love her till old age, love her till death.
if you can love her till the end of time, you've earned the honor & respect for you've truly loved her.

she chose you because she believes that you can fulfil your promise.
win her heart & love her over.
remember, the girl isn't a trophy for display, she's someone to love, not to show off to your "friends".
stay humble yet proud that she's the one for you.
respect her for the way she is, never despise her & never mistreat her,never even think of toying with her.

ps: got this frm eliz.

2007-12-02T23:28:00.000-08:00

Cracked lips,
Dried lips,
Pain lips,
Sore legs,
Sore feet,
Painful lungs,
Painful throat,
Painful tummy,
fatigue,
diarrhoea.
even though i had those during , after and even b4 the camp, i left the camp without much regrets.
i didnt do much during the camp coz my role in the camp didnt have much things to do.
I didnt show much leadership and much activeness during the camp coz i was unwell and for tt very little amt of ppl hu noes wads happening in my family shld noe y i aint myself.(tt explains the very little posts recently. i didnt find any point in posting my probs in my blog and telling my probs to anyone.besides, i wld attract unnescessary attention anyway.)
i didnt show much signs of pain and instead showed more smiles and laughter.
its better to smile and help out than to suffer and be moody all the time.
but of course i can onli do tt to a certain extent.
many things goin on in my mind during the camp. its hard to concentrate =/
trying to release it all out during the camp isnt an ez task. but still i tried.

Day 1

Everyone stood outside the gate as they waited for the gate to open.
I received a peck on the cheek frm my mum b4 getting out of the car to join my squad mates and senior NCOs.
All of us waited for quite sometime b4 the gate opened.
immediately after the gate opened, all of us went in, placing our bags at the noticeboard and carried out the briefing immediately.
the Briefing wasnt clear enuff and so during games, i messed up quite abit.
but overally, FireKnight still did well.
Though we were dead last at the start, we managed to grab hold of the 2nd position at the end of the day.
After Lunch we had the farewell night preparations.
i went to check on the sec 1s while the rest of the sec 3s went to practice.
i had to make sure the sec 1s did a gd job for their farewell night performance.
pretty worried so i went and join the sec 1s instead of the sec 3s.
i onli came ltr to join the sec 3s.
In the beginning i had to scold them due to the very disorganised preparation.
but it was a pretty short scolding la. coz i didnt wanna scold them at all in the first place.
but soon after they practiced together as 1.
didnt feel tt worried anymore and went to join the sec 3s for practice.
After tt it was time for games.
Leon was especially funny during the games.
the band was playing as we played our games.
Joseph danced as he walked to Leon's station and Leon danced at his spot as Joseph came.
the way he danced was, LOLS. :x
i cldnt stop laughing.
he shook his butt as if it went 360 degress rofl.
like..A BELLY DANCER LOL. -.-
after Fire Knight had completed tt station, i leaded a cheer and then we went to the nxt station
After the games we all had PT.
Some of us checked the Campers as they did PT.
they still have probs shouting though =/
Then we all went running outside the sch to the same area.
many fell out as the whole unit ran.
One casualty after another.
ran bak and passed the casualties to Sahil and the guys and ran all the way bak to the front again.
We all reached sch and as i looked around i saw tt i was the onli girl around till some time ltr -.-
Had a little difficulty breathing but i was alright eventually.
Anyways,
the Night Walk was great. and yes, including the part where the policemen and some army ppl came o.O
FireKnight was the first to lead the whole unit to the first checkpoint.
as we walked, we discussed and chatted a little here and there.
we did went to the wrong place at first but we managed to reach the 1st checkpoint eventually.
the residents there tot we were terrorists and so they called the police. lmao.
coz the place where we were walking thru was actually where all the high officials stayed.
so the security lvl there is pretty high.
its pretty funny as we saw the truck wif 4 well-trained men and a giant gun on top :x.
but the policemen there said tt it was alright but he just told us tt we shld walk faster and then he left.
as we walked thru there were tombstones o.o.
Valent seemed pretty frightened as we continued walking wif all the tombstones there.
He was holding the water bottle so close and looking around frantically o.o
cldnt tahan and so i told him to relax a little lol.
Now this is wad i call a gd night walk. :x.
A simple night walk wif many adventures installed.
After the night walk we had a debrief session ,washed up and then we all went to bed(literally).
Well actually the cadets all went to bed first while we NCOs had to stay bak for a meeting.
We didnt realli do well for the 1st day and disappointed alot of ppl.
but we managed to pick ourselves up the nxt day.

Day 2

It was 4.30am.
we all woke up and went to the command post for briefing.
Then it was 5.45am.
the whistle was blown as the cadets rushed out of their bunks and fall-in-ed into their houses.
they were a little confused at first but they managed to learn in the end.
All of us had PT.
Like i said b4, the cadets have probs shouting.
they dun dare to shout at all =/
even as they ran.
i cld see some trying to shout, but some didnt even bother as well.
i cld onli hear LiHong's voice and mine. -.-
After tt we had breakfast.
Some of us went to prepare the Milo for the campers and us as well.
Ran here and there again as usual.
Then we did CIP at the beach.
We sort of didnt have much rubbish to pick and so we kind of ended early.
so the cadets just walked around and chit chatted.
but since the bus wldnt arrive till 11am,
ShiQi and I were told to get them to make use of the time to play a game.
So ShiQi and i sat at one corner discussing on the game tt shld be played.
and so we decided on one game which was to use the beach and draw some stuff there.
Cadets were to find a word represented by each letter.
well of course most of them knew it la.
tt was expected anyway,
so we tot of a part 2 which was to decorate the whole thing and NCOs wld decide which was nicer.
Then all of us fall in and danced the rain dance and sang songs here and there.
then the 1 of the 3 teenagers there took a video of us.
he was oso frm NPCC.
after tt we took all the rubbish and placed it at one corner and boarded the bus bak to sch.
we were bak early and so we all prepared for farewell night again.
i once again went to the sec 1s and this time i didnt go for practice wif the sec 3s :x.
i felt tt the sec 1s nided all the help they can get at tt point of time.
i helped them a little.
the rest of them decided the beats and worked on their coordination.
Had lunch and more games for them.
this time i was the game IC for floorball so i cld just stay at the hall and help to prepare till it was time for them to play.
stayed in the hall practicing wif Janice and helped out wif the decorations the whole time.

I didnt convey the msg properly.
i was told to make sure tt the NCOs were there for the meeting at 5.25pm for the heritage trail meeting.
i found it a little wrong coz i tot tt it was for all the cadets including the NCOs o.o.
maybe i heard it wrongly then.
ok now tts my fault.
i was in grp 8 for the heritage trail.
the grp consisted of Me as the grp leader, Reezal, Jun Kai, Christina, Zhifon, Han Zer, Jovan and Hai Qiang.
After the briefing we all prepared for farewell night.

Farewell Night

The decorations were done, everything was prepared.
everyone was worried and nervous for the fear of not doin a great job during their performance.
The lights were off as the Sec 4s were escorted to the hall.
As the sec 4s entered, the song was played(Gotta go my own way). The timing was just nice. Great job on tt Leon.
The MCs did their thing and we had dinner after Mr Tan's and Joel's speech.
Dinner was gd~.
The sec 4s took some pics wif the some of the sec 3s etc. during dinner.
i gave the sec 1s some encouragement and support.
Then it was time for the performance.
Janice and I were worried like dunno wad. >.>
we were afraid of them messing up due to the amt of stress.
BUT, the sec 1s did very well and i was very proud of them.
Heard many positive response frm the TOs sitting in the row infront of us.
realli proud of them and i nearly cried. lmao.
See Joseph, i have shown u tt miracle.
I am sure tt u r realli proud of them right now. (:
The sec 2s' performance was great and funny hahas.
for the sec 3s we grabbed the sec 4s up together and danced wif us lols.
Joel's reaction was funny as Alvin Tan grabbed him.
he went somehow like' Why i got Alvin Tan?!'. LOLs.
Sebas Foo held onto the chair as i grabbed him as if he die die dun wan go LOLs.
but in the end he still went up.
Then after all our performance,
the sudden sound of a err bell sound thing o.o was played.
we were wondering wad was happening.
den soon after, Vincent and YeeMeng came out and started dancing on stage LOLs.
the whole dance was CUTE! lmao.
they oso called the sec4s up to dance wif them lol.
Then, it was time to giv out the gifts for the Sec 4s.
After tt it was time to shake hands.
Janice and I went to the piano, getting rdy for the grand finale.
As the Sec 4s started moving, Janice started to play the melodious song tt we have practiced for the pass few mths.
There was a little mistake but it was minor.
the Sec 4s loved the song tt we played.
ps: we didnt exactly folo the score sheet lols. We just made it up ourselves >.>
we then shook hands wif the sec 4s.
We took pics together and i almost cried ;x.
We managed to get a few of the sec 4s to cry XD.
lalalalala.
Did one last cheer wif the sec 4s leading us the Canberra Cheer.
Then they all ran out wif Kenny sir.
This was the best Farewell Night we ever had.

After Farewell Night

We cleared the hall and then changed bak to our original attire.
Watched the movie 'Evan Almighty'.
For 85% of the time, i was sleeping :x.
Well most of us were.
So i dont have much comments on the movie.
Most of us slept on the floor till the movie was over.
Cldnt help it.
The environment for sleeping was so gd~.
Moreover, we were realli tired.
After tt the cadets all went bak to their bunks and rested.
NCOs had a debrief session.
Fantastic job Noel! (some of u will noe y)
After tt some of us went to rest while some of us stayed up.
Read Keng Guan's slip of errr thick soft errr sheet of err paper thingy and i remembered reading one part of tt errr reacting(negative)and responding(positive) thing.
anyway the meaning is something like, if somethin happened, reacting is one thing. Reacting is like just react and dun do anything while responding is not just sitting there and react but rather doin somethin abt it.
errrr..ahh -.- i must noe the whole phrase then i can explain it better.
but i understood the meaning.

i wasnt sleepy but since it was pretty late and i nided the energy for the nxt day, i left the grp ,took my medicine and went to rest.
We did well this time, this day.

Day 3

For some reason, every single morning it is always very cold -.-.
Even my jacket wasnt enuff to kip me warm.

Early in the morning, ShiQi and i had to run around to find for the log-room key.
ran and ran when the key was actually in the staff room -.-''
lols morning PT.
Prepared Breakfast for the campers.
And, i 4got to wash my hands after touching the stoves, solid fuel and all tt.
i just went to take a bread and eat = =.
man.
i had diarrhoea after tt.
ShiQi and Jolene oso lols.
Valent had stomach cramp.
and while we walked to the starting point of our heritage trail, Evan had a sudden stomach pain.
it realli pains me to see any of the Sec 1s and any of the cadets sufferring frm these kind of things.
Its like a situation where u want to do somethin, but u cant do anything.
u onli can do this much, but this much aint gd enuff.
I hate these kind of situations ._.

The trail begun as all of us dispersed and headed to our checkpoints.
Amazingly, Hai Qiang participated actively.
He was the one hu leaded the way most of the time.
And we just found out one thing, he is the top in the whole express stream in terms of academics O.O
Reezal and i were shocked XD.
Everyone contributed in the trail and all of us brain-stormed together.
ZhiFon was also another one hu participated actively.
He kept asking ques and made sure he knew wad we were doin.
great job!
Reezal was our Model for the whole trail XD.
he was the one hu took a picture wif one of those Japanese Students.
His classmates were all laughing at him.
He oso was the one hu posted as Sir Stamford Raffles lols.
We realli knew more abt each other and bonded closer after this trail.
Hai Qiang was oso the one hu helped out alot in answering the ques.
I have nv seen him participating so actively b4.
Giv HaiQiang 1 clap! *CLAP* 2 claps! *CLAP CLAP* 5 claps! *CLAP CLAP, CLAP CLAP, CLAP*
11 claps! *CLAP CLAP, CLAP CLAP CLAP, CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP, CLAP CLAP*

After tt we went bak to sch.
It was time to giv the prizes.
I nominated, Lucas, Elaine, Yan Rong, Chai Boon for best campers in the grp FireKnight.
It eventually turned out tt Lucas and YanRong got the title.
Best camper was ChaiBoon.
Best grp was Wind Ranger and 2nd best grp was Fire Knight.
YAY for FireKnight! (:
It was time to break camp.
Some of us had to stay bak for the briefing on UCC.
Bak i am to UCC.
Training wld be tough i guess.
2-3days a week?
but im sure we will all benefit frm it.
So lets all train hard and work towards tt goal!
jyjy Canberra!

ps: Not all the things were posted here. If i posted every single detail i dun tink i nidda sleep tonight once again lol. But realli, i tink the camp, especially the farewell night, was the biggest achievement yet.

oya. b4 i 4get, GRATS FRANCES AND JOEL ON GETTING THE TITLE 'THE BEST CADET IN THE UNIT'! u both deserve it! :D